What a fucking emo day for me..
the feeling of fear , phobia , suspect , depress are make me so hard to breath and stand ..
the weak of me had come out and it's took me a very long time to fight back..
my mind are full of negative thinking...
i keep on cheer myself up...
telling myself just that im think too much ~ ~
but in the end i cant stand for it...
i talk to jun with a broken heart..
although i ask him to help me up.. but i know, i still have to help myself and more depend on myself..
i hate emo, because once i emo.. i will be very very emo.
Took my lunch around 4-5pm+... eat cintan mee..
and wait for dinner..
got to meet up my primary school friend..
we talked a lot of our childhood..
how we making fun in d school..
our pj class... our english teacher..
class celebration party ...
naughty thing that we made..
when we was small kid, we know to play beyblade, wau , congkang congkit, bak kuli.
talk about how innocent and naive when we small...
but didnt take my dinner with them.. still moody ..
and then we discuss for our class party on coming cny ..
sometime i am like this... 我从不喜欢让别人看见我的眼泪，我宁可让别人觉得我快乐的没心没肺，也不愿让自己看起来委屈可怜。 because it's make me become more tough ..
although it's sound like lying to myself but it's the way to be tough..
i want to hide my emotion because i know 不是每个人，都适合和你白头到老。..
i insist to believe in him because 有的人，是拿来一辈子怀念的..
when you need someone, im always right there;
but when i need someone beside me or talk to me, i can't find any of them..
this make me realise that, i still have to depend on myself.. be tough..
was so down and insomia...
but around 2am++ my didi skype with me.. until 3am+.. when im trying to sleep around 4am..
hawkzai say want to skype with me... coz too sien...
ok lo... then we skype until 4.45am.. and i slept around 5am++ =.=''
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