21,Jan 2012 Saturday
Woo... met up with Lee Jyun..
Singapore Initial D6AA players.
also one of my members in my team..
nice skills he had and learn a lot from him too..
really have a good time with him,
but too bad i got date with other friends at 4pm..
but atleast i did my job as a leader..
sending him back to penang's hotel at 12am and treat him lunch since SP is my hometown...
manatau, he pay me 100 for sending him back =.='' WTF
he insist i take for it ...
Day 84
22,Jan 2012 Sunday
Really don't understand how the argument can be start.
A caring that cause argue.
What can i blame? Blame its chat from messenger that couldn't see face expression.
For the whole afternoon i can't cool down myself and wanted to smoke.
Thx to lih that keep on nag me not to smoke .. =.=''
Reach home, though after he cool down, everything will be okay..
But ... seem like not as i expect..
Then give dad scold i didnt answer his call ...
Explore ...
Not fire explore...
The depress and upset ... attacking me like a boss ..
Off phone, lazy to wait for the reply ..
Went to my bed and hiding myself inside d blanket..
And a shit thinking come to my mind ..
Just bought a new knife =.=''
Thinking should i or shouldn't ?
i still remember someone told me if i did stupid thing again, then will break up with me..
should i use this way to break-ing up and end up everything ?
just one slash ...
or may be one slash on my chest ...
im sure, the pain wont pain as how hurt that my heart having now..
but ... control myself not to do that..
its not worth ..
And then think dao the movie i watched last night ..
The person name long ..
Ah Beng keep repeat ah long this name when long died in bullet =.=''
remind me, i used to call a frd long ..
thinking the time we spend together on cny ..
2011 chinese new year eve..
spending my time with wei en,tze liang and to ..
went to the sense .. look at tze liang so bad luck and drink 5 cup of beers ...
for losing the card game..
and how me and to went to sunway carnival mall sakae sushi to buy lao sang ..
went to ur house to eat steamboat.. playing with ur dog ^^
and then u all came to my house for gambling with heng mo ..
everyday eat maggie goreng at pelita nasi kandar..
thinking the day of cny 2011, we still never stop ourself for keep on botting and play for ragnarok online..
until i fall asleep ...
6am++
woke up...
on my phone..
when i tried to slide the phone to unlock..
a phone call came ..
accidently answer the call..
well, plan to cut off but ..
Try to act im nothing..
A very surprise thing for me is ..
i reject all my date for chinese new year eve..
don't feel like going out to entertain with friends..
just wish i could spend this special night with my close friends..
but too bad, they all have family time ^^
and im having reunion dinner with my dad and mom..
from a family that with 7 members..
now only 3 peoples having this dinner ..
and dad also asking me did my frd all came back? and im going out tonight?
i reply him that see first.. not feeling wanna go out ..
just want to have one cigar . .to cool down and release the bad feeling in my heart..
But in the end, went to village mall for id6aa.. to get the last stamp for this month and changed my avatar's background ..
met friend there and pass him my SD memory card to copy games .
sorry that not i want to reply the message in so cold way.
i just cant reply it as usual and i don't know why ..
just feel like, to be alone and slowly slowly ... walk away ... hope for this moment only .. .. because i promise, never give up ...
All i need is just tonight, to let me manage my mood to cheer up..
I believe i will be okay after tonight..
Wanted to 反省 myself being not calm and cheer..
反省myself still cannot handle everything yet..
Tell myself, there're someone waiting for me.. i must stand up.
stand up, change my mind, become more mature and tough ..
2am, went to throw rubbish ..
and i was like wtf, a chinese house using green light for his balcony =.=''
not pantang meh? look like ghost coming out .. lolx..
2.45am.. planning to sleep..
a ex best friend that hurt me the most and cause me changed alot and into phobia..
he msg me.. asking how am i and wish me happy cny..
one thing i surprise is.. he apologize to me what he did to me previously ..
and we had a few mins talk on phone...
haha, still like be4, a big lier, someone that really love to compare and show off..
facebook deactivate , people can't view the profile la bang ~
Well, 4 years... why wait until now only apologize to me?
i had been suffer for 4 years .. and i lost too many thing in my life..
But i had to accept... im changed ..
Read back the post on 2011 when cny :
"""新的一年， 不希望每一年有发生友情的问题。希望可以过个平淡的一年， 不用再为友情而烦恼。所以说， 不要太重视友情因为吃亏的会是自己。亲情还是第一， 一身也报答不完。""""
Well, friendship happened again for me in 2011,
hehe, i wont believe in god anymore..
i will fight for myself and won't let the same thing happened again in 2012.
Day 85
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