每个女生心里都有一个不是男朋友的男朋友
你们可能相爱过，你们也可能喜欢着彼此，
但是，为了什么原因你们没能在一起？
也许他为了朋友之间的义气，不能追你。
也许为了顾及家人的意见 ，你们没有在一起。
也许为了自己的前程，她没有要你等她。
也许你们相遇太早，
还不懂得珍惜对方。
也许你们相遇太晚，
你们身边已经有了另一个人。
也许你回头太迟，
对方已不再等待。
也许你们彼此在捉摸对方的心，
而迟迟无法跨出界线。
不过即使你们没在一起，
你们还是保持了朋友的关系。
但是你们心底清楚，
对这个人，你比朋友还多了一份关心。
即使不能跟他名正言顺的牵着手逛街，
你们还是可以做无所不谈的朋友。
她有喜欢的人，你口头上会帮他追，
心里却不是很清楚你是不是真的希望她追到。
她遇到困难时，
你会尽你所能的帮她，
不会计较谁又欠了谁。
男女朋友吃醋了，
你会安抚他们说你和她只是朋友，
但你心中会有那么一丝的不确定。
每个人这辈子，
心中都有过这幺一个特别的朋友，
很矛盾的行为。
一开始你不甘心只做朋友的，
但久了，突然发现这样最好。
你宁愿这样关心她，
总好过你们在一起而有天会分手。
你宁愿做她的朋友，
彼此不会吃醋，才可以真的无所不谈。
特别是这样，
你还是知道，
她永远会关心你的。
做不成男女朋友，
当她那个特别的朋友，
有什么不好呢？
你心中的这个特别的朋友...? 是谁呢？
很多的感情，
都因为一厢情愿，
最后连朋友都当不成了
常常觉得惋惜，
可惜一些本来很好的友情
最后却因为对方的一句喜欢你，
如果你没有反应，这一段友情似乎也难以维持下去，
这也难怪有些人会因此不肯踏出这一步。
因为这就像是一场赌注，
表白了之后不是成了男女朋友，
要不就连朋友都当不成了。
有些事不是你能预料的，或许对方不在意，
你们还可以是朋友，但却已经不如从前的......
关于爱情：
不要认为后面还有更好的，因为现在拥有就是最好的。
不要认为我还年轻，可以晚些结婚，爱情是不等年龄的。
不要因为距离太远而放弃，爱情是可以和你一起坐火车的。
不要因为对方不富裕而放弃，只要不是无能的人，勤劳可以让你们致富。
不要因为父母反对而放弃，你会发现这个原因而放弃的爱情，将是你一生的悔恨。
其实，对于爱情，越单纯越幸福！一生只谈一次恋爱是最好的。经历的太多了，会麻木，分离多了，会习惯，换恋人多了，会比较，到最后你会不再相信爱情，你会自暴自弃，你会毫无生气，你会行尸走肉，你会与一个你不爱的人结婚，就这样过一辈子···
所以牵好的手就不要轻易放开，说过的话就不要轻易收回，承诺过的人就不要轻易忘记···
有些人，有些事，既然发生了。
就注定是你一生的回忆···
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
- Sorry for everything i have done
4.22am now... my mind keep thinking what should i do or how to apologize for them..
i mess up everything and cause them in bad situation ....
seriously i felt so guilty for it and i don't know what should i do to re-pay for it..
may be i could just dissapear myself in front of them and start my life?
sound selfish or not responsible right? but what can i do?
im so confuse now, can anyone teach me?
i hurt their feeling, i hurt their relationship...
looking the way they suffer... ( i ter-typed "shuffle" =.='' ) i felt so embarrassing and hate myself..
why i done something like this to hurt them? why i dont just ignore it but give a hand for the issue?
actually what are important for me now? work? future? frd? help? ignore? health?
what i should put on no1 first?
im lost and i don't know how to manage my life...
im looking for a perfect way to settle everything but .....
i can't make it....
i can't find the perfect way to solve all this thing...
people said nothing can be perfect...
but i believe we can make thing perfect, bcoz i did before with 30 members together....
why i suffer myself to care for the business that's totally non of my business?
seem like i need to calm down myself...
but i when i face the problem they facing, i felt guilty and i wish i could solve this problem...
i felt my phobia was back... suddenly i felt so scared the same thing will happened again...
i felt so lonely.... the feeling of loneliness making my heart so hurt and i hope i could cry it out loud.....
i hate myself why im eventful , why i always looking for perfect , why i always feel guilty and keep on say sorry ?
i hope i can control myself , my mind, my emotion ...
i need someone to carry on me. . . to cheer me up ....
someone that really understand what im facing now and what i feel ...
but seem no one can help me...
im the lonely one and stand up myself...
what i can say is.. sorry... it's all my fault ... very very sorry...
you could put the blame on me ( akon teach me this )
i do not deserve to be your ..... friend.
i mess up everything and cause them in bad situation ....
seriously i felt so guilty for it and i don't know what should i do to re-pay for it..
may be i could just dissapear myself in front of them and start my life?
sound selfish or not responsible right? but what can i do?
im so confuse now, can anyone teach me?
i hurt their feeling, i hurt their relationship...
looking the way they suffer... ( i ter-typed "shuffle" =.='' ) i felt so embarrassing and hate myself..
why i done something like this to hurt them? why i dont just ignore it but give a hand for the issue?
actually what are important for me now? work? future? frd? help? ignore? health?
what i should put on no1 first?
im lost and i don't know how to manage my life...
im looking for a perfect way to settle everything but .....
i can't make it....
i can't find the perfect way to solve all this thing...
people said nothing can be perfect...
but i believe we can make thing perfect, bcoz i did before with 30 members together....
why i suffer myself to care for the business that's totally non of my business?
seem like i need to calm down myself...
but i when i face the problem they facing, i felt guilty and i wish i could solve this problem...
i felt my phobia was back... suddenly i felt so scared the same thing will happened again...
i felt so lonely.... the feeling of loneliness making my heart so hurt and i hope i could cry it out loud.....
i hate myself why im eventful , why i always looking for perfect , why i always feel guilty and keep on say sorry ?
i hope i can control myself , my mind, my emotion ...
i need someone to carry on me. . . to cheer me up ....
someone that really understand what im facing now and what i feel ...
but seem no one can help me...
im the lonely one and stand up myself...
what i can say is.. sorry... it's all my fault ... very very sorry...
you could put the blame on me ( akon teach me this )
i do not deserve to be your ..... friend.
Monday, June 27, 2011
- RIP * Rest In Peace
一大早， 听到了一个让我心酸的事。。
二姑她在今早去世了。。
她需去槟城洗肾， 可是到了那，不醒人事了。。就这样，走了。。
很内疚的， 我明明有机会见她可是我就是不要去。。
昨晚，爸爸叫我和他去跟二姑吃晚饭。。
任性的我不想去。。 没想到我再也没机会看到她了。。。
虽然，我和她也没有很多的回忆， 可是她是我爸爸的妹妹，也就是一家人。。
二姑的死。。。 让我想起了我的婆婆。。
她和婆婆也是一样， 因肾病而死亡。。。
母女同命相连。。。
也是一样的， 婆婆去世的那个晚上， 说想和我吃晚餐。。。
还是小孩的我就答应了老爸找一天去看婆婆。。
没想到， 那晚婆婆就去世了。。
我还记得， 那晚我哭得很厉害。。
整个枕头都湿了。 。。
想想。 不知道我及时会离开呢？
离开的时候， 我会不会是个对社会有用的人呢？
还是社会的垃圾？
想起小时候有自杀过。。 哈哈。。
长大了，也有想自杀的念头。。 可是就是没有勇气。。
真的希望每个人可以好好的照顾身体。。。
喝多水， 早点睡。。 多运动， 少吃煎， 炒，辣的食物。。。
二姑她在今早去世了。。
她需去槟城洗肾， 可是到了那，不醒人事了。。就这样，走了。。
很内疚的， 我明明有机会见她可是我就是不要去。。
昨晚，爸爸叫我和他去跟二姑吃晚饭。。
任性的我不想去。。 没想到我再也没机会看到她了。。。
虽然，我和她也没有很多的回忆， 可是她是我爸爸的妹妹，也就是一家人。。
二姑的死。。。 让我想起了我的婆婆。。
她和婆婆也是一样， 因肾病而死亡。。。
母女同命相连。。。
也是一样的， 婆婆去世的那个晚上， 说想和我吃晚餐。。。
还是小孩的我就答应了老爸找一天去看婆婆。。
没想到， 那晚婆婆就去世了。。
我还记得， 那晚我哭得很厉害。。
整个枕头都湿了。 。。
想想。 不知道我及时会离开呢？
离开的时候， 我会不会是个对社会有用的人呢？
还是社会的垃圾？
想起小时候有自杀过。。 哈哈。。
长大了，也有想自杀的念头。。 可是就是没有勇气。。
真的希望每个人可以好好的照顾身体。。。
喝多水， 早点睡。。 多运动， 少吃煎， 炒，辣的食物。。。
Saturday, June 25, 2011
- Mixed with happy and bad
quite long didnt come blog jor...
almost 1 week....
recently happen many thing around me ....
i face happy thing and also bad thing ......
i'm glad that few days ago, i got 30minits talk to my brother puppyzai...
even i know phone to UK are quite expensive, but atleast we still keep in touch...
we still care for each other even we got long time didnt chat....
he showed that he's worried about my health... and share his life there .....
hm.... found out someone is crying for me ....
haha, donno why, everytime she cry, i feel want to laugh...
such a pity and cute face.... ^.^
finish happy thing.... now is bad thing...
really scare the thing i worried is happen...
i used to avoid and ignore it but its come to me always ....
this stupid thing really confusing me...
its made me totally lost my direction to do or not to do.....
i think.. almost 1 week i didnt play dota edi....
quite many friends always invite me to join their game ...
but really feel sorry to them, recently really busy ....
arhh... i found out im totally addicted to dslr...
aiming for canon 60d ....
i just bought a Black Bird,Fly camera on tuesday ....
it's not limited edition but atleast i got the same model...
Limited edition is pink colour and it's kamen rider decade series ....
so sad didnt get edition one... but still happy to hv the same model....
almost 1 week....
recently happen many thing around me ....
i face happy thing and also bad thing ......
i'm glad that few days ago, i got 30minits talk to my brother puppyzai...
even i know phone to UK are quite expensive, but atleast we still keep in touch...
we still care for each other even we got long time didnt chat....
he showed that he's worried about my health... and share his life there .....
hm.... found out someone is crying for me ....
haha, donno why, everytime she cry, i feel want to laugh...
such a pity and cute face.... ^.^
finish happy thing.... now is bad thing...
really scare the thing i worried is happen...
i used to avoid and ignore it but its come to me always ....
this stupid thing really confusing me...
its made me totally lost my direction to do or not to do.....
i think.. almost 1 week i didnt play dota edi....
quite many friends always invite me to join their game ...
but really feel sorry to them, recently really busy ....
arhh... i found out im totally addicted to dslr...
aiming for canon 60d ....
i just bought a Black Bird,Fly camera on tuesday ....
it's not limited edition but atleast i got the same model...
Limited edition is pink colour and it's kamen rider decade series ....
so sad didnt get edition one... but still happy to hv the same model....
Saturday, June 18, 2011
- 冷
突然， 心中有种心灰与冷的感觉。。
不明白为什么自己不会接受。。
明明就是很平常的事，为什么就是接受不到呢？
这样多数是应该的吧。。
讨厌这样的我，
讨厌肚子饿的我， 脾气那么的不好。。
近几天， 因生病而什么食物也不能吃， 搞到一直胃痛。。
有时候， 真的不明白我这样做到底是为了什么。。
夜了， 是时候要我放下一切，然后好好的过回我以前的生活。。
抛开一切的烦恼和无聊的责任。。。
好好的想一想， 我好像改变了很多，到底哪个才是我自己？
我自己到底又是怎么样的人呢？
真的好希望有人会告诉我， 我到底是这样的人。。
不管是好，还是坏， 我就是想知道。。。
他妈的老子生病， 什么也不能吃。。。 肚子饿也找不到适合我吃的食物。。
算了， 还是在家乖乖的睡觉。。
身体这样多病， 有时真的好像要放弃了我自己，了断了这个生命。。
虽然很自私，可是。。。。
孝。。 不敢想象父母的悲哀。。
累了，真的累了。。 不明白为什么把我的时间和精神白白的浪费在无谓的事上。。
累了， 是时候放手了。。 可能放手后， 才知道是否是值得我做的。。
累了，不是样样事看起来我不在乎， 只是，不想让人知道我很在乎。。
不明白为什么自己不会接受。。
明明就是很平常的事，为什么就是接受不到呢？
这样多数是应该的吧。。
讨厌这样的我，
讨厌肚子饿的我， 脾气那么的不好。。
近几天， 因生病而什么食物也不能吃， 搞到一直胃痛。。
有时候， 真的不明白我这样做到底是为了什么。。
夜了， 是时候要我放下一切，然后好好的过回我以前的生活。。
抛开一切的烦恼和无聊的责任。。。
好好的想一想， 我好像改变了很多，到底哪个才是我自己？
我自己到底又是怎么样的人呢？
真的好希望有人会告诉我， 我到底是这样的人。。
不管是好，还是坏， 我就是想知道。。。
他妈的老子生病， 什么也不能吃。。。 肚子饿也找不到适合我吃的食物。。
算了， 还是在家乖乖的睡觉。。
身体这样多病， 有时真的好像要放弃了我自己，了断了这个生命。。
虽然很自私，可是。。。。
孝。。 不敢想象父母的悲哀。。
累了，真的累了。。 不明白为什么把我的时间和精神白白的浪费在无谓的事上。。
累了， 是时候放手了。。 可能放手后， 才知道是否是值得我做的。。
累了，不是样样事看起来我不在乎， 只是，不想让人知道我很在乎。。
- Health
Health....
Just realise that im unhealthy...
Having cough for 1 month and havent recover yet...
After check up with a chinese doctor, she said that my body really unhealthy..
If i dont really take care of it, before i 30 years old, might died or +++
Every single organs in my body are no good and im 23 years old now but i having 70 years old body.
Now days, my back are very pain... I have no idea for it...
Seriously im so worried and down for my health...
I'm really sad that i having this kind of body... this kind of health....
Why i now only realise that healthy are so important and regret that i dont really take care for it.
I felt like im so useless, everything i did wrong, everything i don't know, i cant help people when they need help...
I donno everything that happened now in the world or social...
I can't do well for my dad's business ...
I can't take care of my parents / my family ....
and now i got a serious bad bad health ...
Somehow, what am i born to the world ? I'm just a rubbish in this world that did nothing to the world...
I cant bring any advantage for the world ...
These few night, i keep suffer for one thing, i can't take decision on it..
I don't know what should i do... i got phobia for it...
My left hand ask me do it but my right hand ask me ignore and stop it now..
If i do it, i might get hurt if anything happen... Its risky for me..
If i don't do it, i can't pass through my heart ... because im the only one can help ...
Should i or Shouldn't i ?
May be i think too much? But atleast avoid better than no.. ? It's that correct?
Really made me can't sleep well in the night....
Just realise that im unhealthy...
Having cough for 1 month and havent recover yet...
After check up with a chinese doctor, she said that my body really unhealthy..
If i dont really take care of it, before i 30 years old, might died or +++
Every single organs in my body are no good and im 23 years old now but i having 70 years old body.
Now days, my back are very pain... I have no idea for it...
Seriously im so worried and down for my health...
I'm really sad that i having this kind of body... this kind of health....
Why i now only realise that healthy are so important and regret that i dont really take care for it.
I felt like im so useless, everything i did wrong, everything i don't know, i cant help people when they need help...
I donno everything that happened now in the world or social...
I can't do well for my dad's business ...
I can't take care of my parents / my family ....
and now i got a serious bad bad health ...
Somehow, what am i born to the world ? I'm just a rubbish in this world that did nothing to the world...
I cant bring any advantage for the world ...
These few night, i keep suffer for one thing, i can't take decision on it..
I don't know what should i do... i got phobia for it...
My left hand ask me do it but my right hand ask me ignore and stop it now..
If i do it, i might get hurt if anything happen... Its risky for me..
If i don't do it, i can't pass through my heart ... because im the only one can help ...
Should i or Shouldn't i ?
May be i think too much? But atleast avoid better than no.. ? It's that correct?
Really made me can't sleep well in the night....
Friday, June 17, 2011
- 我等你。。
最感动的一句话不是什么甜言密语，不是我爱你，
而是我等你。
一句我等你， 不知真的需要多少的勇气。
我认为， 我等你这三个字比我爱你浪漫很多。
因为我认为不是每个人都会去等一个可能得不到的东西。
可是我的兄弟他说他会做到， 不顾一切的等。
抱有希望的等。。 没希望也等。。 等待奇迹的一天。等待她。。
身为他的兄弟我， 不知如何是好， 只能在他的身边支持和安慰。。
我等你。。。
包含了很多的无奈，心酸， 苦涩，安慰，祝福，承诺，等。。。
他不管爱得到还是爱不到，默默地等。等待那天的到来。。
我等你， 真的需要很大的勇气和责任才说的。。
他明明就不是一个这样的人， 可是为了她， 他要付起这个责任。。
为了她， 愿意的付出， 无条件的付出和祝福。。
不管会不会得到她还是会的等。。。
不论怎样.我等你这个承诺.远比我爱你更动听。。
每次听朋友说有几爱几爱他们的女朋友/男朋友。。
每天说我爱你。。
说我爱你好像喝水这样。。
把我爱你说的没价值。。
所以我很少说我爱你给我的女友。。
我认为我爱你不是要说的， 而是要表现出来。。
真的很佩服他会等，我明白等待的感受，
因为我也曾经等待过十年。。
等待一个人真的很难， 可是我等你是一个承诺。
想想看，现在还会有人会这样等吗？有。。 很少。。
有人会愿意那样卑微的等待，
不计较任何的回报的等待吗？
也有很少人会说“我等你” ！！
往往很多人都会因为我爱你而感动， 然后忘记了。。。
忘了那个说。。。。 我等你的人。
前者的爱有激情但肤浅。。。 然而，
后者的爱单纯又执着。。
很多年轻人就是喜欢听我爱你，
为了一句我爱你，爱的死去活来。
吵来吵去。。 受了伤也不投降。。
当被伤透彻了才知道一切都因为一句。。。。。
“我爱你”
那时，你可能更愿意的听到“我等你”。。
如果你身边有一个这样的人。。
愿意毫不计较的为你付出。。
默默的等你， 照顾你， 祝福你， 为你开心。。
那么，请你一定要好好珍惜这个人，
因为他会是一个一直陪伴着你走下去的那个人，
他不管你是不是他的。。 他就是不会在半途中将你丢弃。。
因为他会付起他所说的“我等你” 这句话。。
他也懂得珍惜和你在一起的时间。。
默默地安慰你， 关心你， 帮助你， 照顾你。。
有的人一生都不会有这种机遇，
不是每个人会那么幸运的等到一个愿意等她的人。。
你也可以说他傻，但是一切都是为你傻。。。
和你永远在一起才是他真正的幸福。。
也不是每个人会愿意的或有机会的去等待一个人。。
他。。 锦隆就是相信。。。相信一切。。 。
相信为了爱你， 所以选择等你。。 我等你 ！！
祝锦隆的等待都能有好的结果。
送你一首歌。。
：等
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-lhKI5IVjs
( PS : F**K BLOGGER... CANNOT UPLOAD MY VIDEO HERE !!! ) ( will edit soon )
而是我等你。
一句我等你， 不知真的需要多少的勇气。
我认为， 我等你这三个字比我爱你浪漫很多。
因为我认为不是每个人都会去等一个可能得不到的东西。
可是我的兄弟他说他会做到， 不顾一切的等。
抱有希望的等。。 没希望也等。。 等待奇迹的一天。等待她。。
身为他的兄弟我， 不知如何是好， 只能在他的身边支持和安慰。。
我等你。。。
包含了很多的无奈，心酸， 苦涩，安慰，祝福，承诺，等。。。
他不管爱得到还是爱不到，默默地等。等待那天的到来。。
我等你， 真的需要很大的勇气和责任才说的。。
他明明就不是一个这样的人， 可是为了她， 他要付起这个责任。。
为了她， 愿意的付出， 无条件的付出和祝福。。
不管会不会得到她还是会的等。。。
不论怎样.我等你这个承诺.远比我爱你更动听。。
每次听朋友说有几爱几爱他们的女朋友/男朋友。。
每天说我爱你。。
说我爱你好像喝水这样。。
把我爱你说的没价值。。
所以我很少说我爱你给我的女友。。
我认为我爱你不是要说的， 而是要表现出来。。
真的很佩服他会等，我明白等待的感受，
因为我也曾经等待过十年。。
等待一个人真的很难， 可是我等你是一个承诺。
想想看，现在还会有人会这样等吗？有。。 很少。。
有人会愿意那样卑微的等待，
不计较任何的回报的等待吗？
也有很少人会说“我等你” ！！
往往很多人都会因为我爱你而感动， 然后忘记了。。。
忘了那个说。。。。 我等你的人。
前者的爱有激情但肤浅。。。 然而，
后者的爱单纯又执着。。
很多年轻人就是喜欢听我爱你，
为了一句我爱你，爱的死去活来。
吵来吵去。。 受了伤也不投降。。
当被伤透彻了才知道一切都因为一句。。。。。
“我爱你”
那时，你可能更愿意的听到“我等你”。。
如果你身边有一个这样的人。。
愿意毫不计较的为你付出。。
默默的等你， 照顾你， 祝福你， 为你开心。。
那么，请你一定要好好珍惜这个人，
因为他会是一个一直陪伴着你走下去的那个人，
他不管你是不是他的。。 他就是不会在半途中将你丢弃。。
因为他会付起他所说的“我等你” 这句话。。
他也懂得珍惜和你在一起的时间。。
默默地安慰你， 关心你， 帮助你， 照顾你。。
有的人一生都不会有这种机遇，
不是每个人会那么幸运的等到一个愿意等她的人。。
你也可以说他傻，但是一切都是为你傻。。。
和你永远在一起才是他真正的幸福。。
也不是每个人会愿意的或有机会的去等待一个人。。
他。。 锦隆就是相信。。。相信一切。。 。
相信为了爱你， 所以选择等你。。 我等你 ！！
祝锦隆的等待都能有好的结果。
送你一首歌。。
：等
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-lhKI5IVjs
( PS : F**K BLOGGER... CANNOT UPLOAD MY VIDEO HERE !!! ) ( will edit soon )
Saturday, June 11, 2011
- Trust
Seriously i hate gay so much.. I accept gay as my friends before because i got a close friend that he's gay. But now i can be what i want. I really hate gay, so that i hate ppl saying im gay or ah gua. =.='' Because im really not and i dont want people misunderstanding me. Kinda shame to become gay ! !!
Got friend asked me why dont i go get a new girl friend now... Simple question but i only reply i got no mood to in love now, and if i in love now, might very sorry to someone and also myself. All i need to do now is work and learn my dad's business. This is most important thing now.
Having cough for 3 weeks already, many food i can't eat.... I miss laksa, hokkien mee, pasta, curry mee, satay, pizza, nasi redang, chicken rice, chicken chop, satay, roti canai and +++
But because im sicked, i realize many people are care to me so much, advice me this doctor, eat this eat that, drink hot drink only and ++.. Well it's a bit like controlling me but my heart feel so warm because i can't believe there's so many friends are so care about me. To not dissapointed them, i have to recover faster and show them im recovered so that they won't worried about me anymore.
Having deal with my brother Thomas that i won't smoke anymore and he must less eat those oily/ fried/ and fatty foods that harm to his health. He really showed me that his promise to me. I also must stand up myself not to smoke else i will very very sorry to him.
Today i learn something good. I wake myself up to understand why close friend sometime won't care about each other feeling... It's because we too close, we believe in other.. the trust we gain are strong so that sometime we might didnt care about their feeling and came out with little bit misunderstand and sorry. Because too close, and we had the habits so when changed, we might little bit angry... Because human being , we wanted more.. So remember, always give forgivness and peace, It will help ur friendship stand longer.
Trust is like a paper, once it's crumpled, it can't be PERFECT again. So i want to walk out from my phobia/ my past to gain back my trust to my best friends/brothers.... It might need some times or it might confuse me to lost my way sometimes, but im sure they will forgive me if im done something hurt them to them.. To know and being close to a friends might need year or more, but offend a friends might just need a few second, so think deep and care about their feeling before speak..
Got friend asked me why dont i go get a new girl friend now... Simple question but i only reply i got no mood to in love now, and if i in love now, might very sorry to someone and also myself. All i need to do now is work and learn my dad's business. This is most important thing now.
Having cough for 3 weeks already, many food i can't eat.... I miss laksa, hokkien mee, pasta, curry mee, satay, pizza, nasi redang, chicken rice, chicken chop, satay, roti canai and +++
But because im sicked, i realize many people are care to me so much, advice me this doctor, eat this eat that, drink hot drink only and ++.. Well it's a bit like controlling me but my heart feel so warm because i can't believe there's so many friends are so care about me. To not dissapointed them, i have to recover faster and show them im recovered so that they won't worried about me anymore.
Having deal with my brother Thomas that i won't smoke anymore and he must less eat those oily/ fried/ and fatty foods that harm to his health. He really showed me that his promise to me. I also must stand up myself not to smoke else i will very very sorry to him.
Today i learn something good. I wake myself up to understand why close friend sometime won't care about each other feeling... It's because we too close, we believe in other.. the trust we gain are strong so that sometime we might didnt care about their feeling and came out with little bit misunderstand and sorry. Because too close, and we had the habits so when changed, we might little bit angry... Because human being , we wanted more.. So remember, always give forgivness and peace, It will help ur friendship stand longer.
Trust is like a paper, once it's crumpled, it can't be PERFECT again. So i want to walk out from my phobia/ my past to gain back my trust to my best friends/brothers.... It might need some times or it might confuse me to lost my way sometimes, but im sure they will forgive me if im done something hurt them to them.. To know and being close to a friends might need year or more, but offend a friends might just need a few second, so think deep and care about their feeling before speak..
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
- Do nothing
Seriously i feel dissapointed to one of my friend... Don't know how to start here but what have he done is really hurt me. He just act childish and having "大少爷" pattern.
In the end we end up our 13 years friendship. Well, im just giving advice to him and he don't want to accept it then deny me.
Why i always having friendship problem every years? It's my own self problem or i'm just bad luck to knew this kind of friend? nah, it's already happened, im not blaming to other and just accept the destiny bah... As long as i know i still got a lot of friends around me... People said 人生有一知己， 死以无憾。 and i got three.... I must be glad for it...
But sometimes really scared to disturb them to tell them what problem im having now. I know they couldn't help me and just be my listener but they got their own life too.. Sometime i wish i can keep in my heart and solve myself ...
Dumpling ( bak chang ) i miss my grandma's hand made bak chang... i miss the taste for many years ago. But this year, i got it back.... Really thanks to my brother Thomas that giving me his house made bak chang... I feel my grandma taste... grandma i hope you rest in peace... i miss you and i love you ~
In the end we end up our 13 years friendship. Well, im just giving advice to him and he don't want to accept it then deny me.
Why i always having friendship problem every years? It's my own self problem or i'm just bad luck to knew this kind of friend? nah, it's already happened, im not blaming to other and just accept the destiny bah... As long as i know i still got a lot of friends around me... People said 人生有一知己， 死以无憾。 and i got three.... I must be glad for it...
But sometimes really scared to disturb them to tell them what problem im having now. I know they couldn't help me and just be my listener but they got their own life too.. Sometime i wish i can keep in my heart and solve myself ...
Dumpling ( bak chang ) i miss my grandma's hand made bak chang... i miss the taste for many years ago. But this year, i got it back.... Really thanks to my brother Thomas that giving me his house made bak chang... I feel my grandma taste... grandma i hope you rest in peace... i miss you and i love you ~
Sunday, June 5, 2011
- 阴阳
Saturday 4.6.2011
去了 Village Mall 和朋友看戏， 在电梯门口看到了一位老朋友。 可是他给我的第一个脸是不爽的样子然后来了一个很假的笑。 不懂为什么， 开始情绪化了， 可能刚睡醒吧。。
在看戏时， 想到不知道我的死党会不会 emo 呢， 哪知看完戏时，他告诉我说有点emo。 哈哈。。
当然， 我在那部戏里学如何忘记过去， 心静，抛开所有的阴影。
阴阳 ( Ying Yang )
阴阳 ( Ying Yang ) .. 这个戏教了我阴阳， 何谓阴阳？ 我是这样认为的， 想太极一样， 以软克刚。 要软就要静。 黑白， 黑中带有白， 百中带有黑。 然而显出我们人生中的某某事， 一片纯黑/白的人， 也有他的漆黑或光明的一点。 点点滴滴中我们要学会忍， 孝， 静，良 。 只要我们在漆黑中， 注重这那个白点， 我们会发现更多的好事。
如今， 我还要学习如何看开， 因为实在太多阴影在我身活了。 有冲动想要离开我的家一段时间， 但是我要照顾家里， 我也放不下身边的朋友。
希望可以快点学会看开， 真的不想再睡觉中也被吓醒。 或伤心到醒。入眠难， 醒得快, 也不会情绪化。
去了 Village Mall 和朋友看戏， 在电梯门口看到了一位老朋友。 可是他给我的第一个脸是不爽的样子然后来了一个很假的笑。 不懂为什么， 开始情绪化了， 可能刚睡醒吧。。
在看戏时， 想到不知道我的死党会不会 emo 呢， 哪知看完戏时，他告诉我说有点emo。 哈哈。。
当然， 我在那部戏里学如何忘记过去， 心静，抛开所有的阴影。
阴阳 ( Ying Yang )
阴阳 ( Ying Yang ) .. 这个戏教了我阴阳， 何谓阴阳？ 我是这样认为的， 想太极一样， 以软克刚。 要软就要静。 黑白， 黑中带有白， 百中带有黑。 然而显出我们人生中的某某事， 一片纯黑/白的人， 也有他的漆黑或光明的一点。 点点滴滴中我们要学会忍， 孝， 静，良 。 只要我们在漆黑中， 注重这那个白点， 我们会发现更多的好事。
如今， 我还要学习如何看开， 因为实在太多阴影在我身活了。 有冲动想要离开我的家一段时间， 但是我要照顾家里， 我也放不下身边的朋友。
希望可以快点学会看开， 真的不想再睡觉中也被吓醒。 或伤心到醒。入眠难， 醒得快, 也不会情绪化。
- Friday 3.6.2011
Friday 3.6.2011
A simple trip to Penang with Thomas, Eddy and Jialim..
Went to "International Chocolate Fair" , its suck, we have been cheated...
There's not more than 5 stalls that selling chocolate and its local chocolate=.=''
Most of it = *Bak Gua* rofl .....
Just staying there short a while then we went to "Battle of The Chef ( BOTC ) " ..
Seriously it's so many ppl and the food are awesome..
But i feel sad to my brother... He knew many professional chef, he go the skills, and he got the talents on cook/decorate food/taste/style... I think he must be very emo-ing right there because he can't attend the competition and also have to give up his dream to continue his family business...
Very sorry to him, may be two years later he could join this competition... Even he cant achieve his dream as a chef anymore but at least the competition will bring him enjoy and learn...
A simple trip to Penang with Thomas, Eddy and Jialim..
Went to "International Chocolate Fair" , its suck, we have been cheated...
There's not more than 5 stalls that selling chocolate and its local chocolate=.=''
Most of it = *Bak Gua* rofl .....
Just staying there short a while then we went to "Battle of The Chef ( BOTC ) " ..
Seriously it's so many ppl and the food are awesome..
But i feel sad to my brother... He knew many professional chef, he go the skills, and he got the talents on cook/decorate food/taste/style... I think he must be very emo-ing right there because he can't attend the competition and also have to give up his dream to continue his family business...
Very sorry to him, may be two years later he could join this competition... Even he cant achieve his dream as a chef anymore but at least the competition will bring him enjoy and learn...
Thursday, June 2, 2011
- 11 years friend..
11 years friend..
I'm so glad that we know each other for 11 years.. From friend to become best friend and then became just a normal friend again.
Everyone is asking me take notice to this friend and careful. Some of my friend are anti and ban him because he always done something to hurt me and his personality problem.
He like to turn a big round to ask something from people to know something he wanna know, and he like to make a story in front of people so that could bring the others reputation down. Why he always do this kind of thing? Because of jealous ? Some of my friends said that he might be a gay too LOL...
Don't know why, everytime i listen to this song, i think of this friend.... He the one spoil our friendship. Why can't he appreciate it ?
I'm so glad that we know each other for 11 years.. From friend to become best friend and then became just a normal friend again.
Everyone is asking me take notice to this friend and careful. Some of my friend are anti and ban him because he always done something to hurt me and his personality problem.
He like to turn a big round to ask something from people to know something he wanna know, and he like to make a story in front of people so that could bring the others reputation down. Why he always do this kind of thing? Because of jealous ? Some of my friends said that he might be a gay too LOL...
Don't know why, everytime i listen to this song, i think of this friend.... He the one spoil our friendship. Why can't he appreciate it ?
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