A tiring day but I can’t sleep well and woke up at 5am. I’m so sad that there’s a friend saying that I’m treating him bad. Just because I’m not going to cyber café to dota with them. It’s hurt me. I treat them good, I hang out with them when they came back. I just a bit busy recently and they said this is how I treat friends… In the end, I can’t stand for it. I scolded him. He told me just a joke, dude… I hate this kind of joke, its play with my feeling and my heart…. Not funny at all. I felt like no want to friend with this kinds of person.. Because of him, other put the blame on me just because he like to put the blame on me.
This friend, I not really put in my heart onward. But in the same night, a emo friend make this kind of joke again. I was really sad, my heart feel like stab by thousands of knife. Really make me sad and disappointed for it. I felt like the caring for him is just a wasted. My tears like to dropping when I sleep, that feeling is hard to describe but I remember this feel…. This feel happened few times before in my life, it’s happened when my best friend betrayed me. I tell myself he’s joking and emo-ing so I should never put this in my heart and continue cheer him up. I’m a sensitive person, so I really hope my friends not playing with my trust. I don’t like to suspect my friends.
The pain in my heart still right there… It’s painful until that I could wake up from my sleep… I know it’s a joke…. But very sorry, I can’t accept this kind of joke… 6.30am now, I’m not suppose writing my blog now and I should be on my bed having a sweet dream. I’m so regret that I treating friends so good, because as usual, the return I received is hurt and pain. May be I should listen to her, I need to take distance with my friends….
Suddenly something run through my mind… If I suddenly died, who will sad for me? May be only my family I think. Or they should be happy because I’m not wasting their money anymore.
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