Emo? Hurt? Pain? It's just always happened

A tiring day but I can’t sleep well and woke up at 5am. I’m so sad that there’s a friend saying that I’m treating him bad. Just because I’m not going to cyber café to dota with them. It’s hurt me. I treat them good, I hang out with them when they came back. I just a bit busy recently and they said this is how I treat friends… In the end, I can’t stand for it. I scolded him. He told me just a joke, dude… I hate this kind of joke, its play with my feeling and my heart…. Not funny at all. I felt like no want to friend with this kinds of person.. Because of him, other put the blame on me just because he like to put the blame on me.

This friend, I not really put in my heart onward. But in the same night, a emo friend make this kind of joke again. I was really sad, my heart feel like stab by thousands of knife. Really make me sad and disappointed for it. I felt like the caring for him is just a wasted. My tears like to dropping when I sleep, that feeling is hard to describe but I remember this feel…. This feel happened few times before in my life, it’s happened when my best friend betrayed me. I tell myself he’s joking and emo-ing so I should never put this in my heart and continue cheer him up. I’m a sensitive person, so I really hope my friends not playing with my trust. I don’t like to suspect my friends.

The pain in my heart still right there… It’s painful until that I could wake up from my sleep… I know it’s a joke…. But very sorry, I can’t accept this kind of joke… 6.30am now, I’m not suppose writing my blog now and I should be on my bed having a sweet dream. I’m so regret that I treating friends so good, because as usual, the return I received is hurt and pain. May be I should listen to her, I need to take distance with my friends….

Suddenly something run through my mind… If I suddenly died, who will sad for me? May be only my family I think. Or they should be happy because I’m not wasting their money anymore.

30th May , 3.40am…. Insomia ~

30^th May , 3.40am….

It’s quite tired today, but suddenly can’t sleep. Recently too many thing happened, I remember how he rush for her birthday present and birthday cake. Went to few supermarket buy the cake materials, order the original doll from oversea. Listen to him told me how hard and spend much of times to hand make a birthday card. Remind back he didn’t sleep more than 4~5 hours a day because want to bake a healthy cake for her. Some more have to settle office work, went to Penang to buy cake material.

Quite shock when I received a bad news from them, I don’t know how to help each other, I felt guilty that I couldn’t help them. I bring myself down when I saw they bad mood / down or emo. Can see that he’s really fall deep deep love to her but not everything as what we expected. Can someone teach me what should I do to make them feel better mood? I felt like upside down now, hope the time can cure everything.

Sometime I really hate and angry see there’s a chance to let you study but the person doesn’t appreciate it and trying to give up. I understand I can’t choose the course I want to study, I understand because of my lazy and I’m having low education. I was so regret that I don’t appreciate the chance that I can study. I understand those feeling because I experience it before. I really hope those friends who are studying now and want to give up because of bad result, try to push up them to appreciate how hard their family paid for the fees.

I hope I can be tough but not down together with my friend so that I could help them in positive way. But until midnight, I can’t sleep. I think of how he show his smiling face to me when he’s down. It’s make me more worried. But at least he told me how he feel and what he’s think, so I understand and can share together his sadness. If anything I can help, I will help for it without any return because I just want to see they change back as usual. Always be happy….. May be this incidents might be a lost for him, but it might have something he learn or gain something this time, eg he knew his family really care of him, he knew he's really love this girl until want to be with her forever. May be his effort not a waste for this time. People said no pain no gain ... I'm sure something he don't wanna make it without you !!!

May be I shouldn’t write all these on blog, it’s quite privacy or not respecting them. But I hope they can find the way to solve their problem and face what they should face but not running or giving any excuse for it. Even both of them are just my secondary normal friends but really hope both of them can stand up.

This song specially for both of this friends..

22.May.2011

22.May.2011
Having a nice talk with my bro this night ... really help me a lot and we know each other thinking ...
Really scared one day we will become like him... So better appreciate the moment now and avoid from this issue ... May be i should give up or ignore this friend le ...

Dairy ~ ~

19May 2011... its my dad b'day on chinese calender ...
We went Yoshiya Japanese Restaurant for dinner ...
ordered three set of saba steak/shio and salmon fish head=.=''
End up i settle 2 set of saba and the fish head... Its make my stomachache for few days ........

20May 2011
Woke up around 4pm++ and having Laksa/Ice kacang as my breakfast and lunch with DragonZai..
around 5pm++ reach home, and mum already annoying me there to help him change the lamp..
haizz damn pek chek .. the thing she want me to change but didnt give me the new one...

Then ask me go buy.. ok lor, buy lo.. but i donno the place and buy what.. she said , u go here here here and there there there jiu got le =.='' WTF ? what kind of guide is that? Do dao lai 6pm+ , have to prepare for my relative's wedding dinner...

Once reach the dinner, saw someone that i dont like and he starting lan ci with me ... somemore talking my bad with my uncle in front of me. Saying that i no need work then can get iphon4... i know im not like you start to stick with ur daddy's ass to work when primary school, i bet you got not much friends like ur age and you don't know how to enjoy the life .... you suck ...

To avoid listen what they say about me... i change table, sit with old uncle old aunty... the love me much and very sayang me one... but i realise, im not enjoy at the dinner.... playing with my iphone and didnt talk at all.. around 9pm, i went back from there and going to Yoshiya again to meet my friends gathering ... i was very enjoy there and givin' smile none stop ... i felt that im very happy and something is not suitable me before this gathering....

After the gathering i suppose to meet my brother Raymond but it's too late and he off to bed already.. Then i have to delivery some maki for DragonZai and then went to Billion area to have supper with DolphinZai.... its around 11pm...

Something out of my expectation that's eddy invited me dota with chun fong at 12am.. LOL, and we played until 4am..... its a very very busy night =.='' if i not mistaken, by the time i reach home, kelvin phone me and we have a long talk until 5am++ =.='' ORZZZZZZ

Seem like night life suit me ^^ ..

21May 2011
Is Saturday...
I cant really remember what happen today but the only one thing i knew is ... i woke up around 4pm++ and went to play yugioh card...
that night went to summer pearl twice =.='' and met two gangs friend there...
Nearly 11pm, drive to VooDoo for clubbing... that night i was totally drunk... its my first time vomit so many times and 5am only reach my home...

22May.. Sunday ....
today , i received a bad news..
my best best brother PuppyZai is not coming back this year ...
Have to wait until next year July graduate only back to Msia..
Seriously i miss me lot and want to challenge him dota and badminton ....
Don't know our conversation and relationship will become bad when he come back Msia?
Becoz we lack of communication after he went UK ...

23May Monday...
really want to say sorry to someone that cause him been scolded by mom =.='' sorry dude..
Pirates of Caribbean... not really good as my expectation ... the story line , the soundtrack ... ( i love POC becoz of soundtrack ^^ )

20th May = 520 = 我爱你。 and i got a special dream tonight......

Almost more than 1 week i didn't go work .... i wondering what thing trouble me for so long and made me can't sleep every night, even i could get into sleep , i will have a bad nightmare...
Just like last night, i dream my ex .... i dream she gone crazy when break up with me .... Inside the dream both of us are so regret to break up ... But we can't together... and bla bla bla... forgot jor =.=''
2nd dream that's friend don't want to friend with me because of girl =.='' ORZZ ....

When i wake up , i feel like very hard to breath ... Its that the stress made me dream this kind of nightmare?

__________________________________________________________________

When u know a friend that friendship stay for more than 10 years and back stab behind you to his girl friend said that's " he always kap lui and kao lui outside " ? But seriously im not this kind of person , those friend that not so close with me also know im not this kind of person lar.... Are you mad? Are you blind ? haha but actually its not the first time i heard he back stab me, there got people tell me what you said behind me..

Do you think im not good enough for you? Want say we are best friend.. but i don't have that feeling ... You won't give a single hand to me when i need help, im not blaming you not helping me but i know you could help me because you got the ability but you refuse it ... You like to enjoy looking at my suffer face ...
You jealous anything about me ,
you jealous there's a lot of friend around me ,
you jealous me i got my own best brothers and never ever betray me and treating me very good..
you jealous when i got girl friend .... but i didn't leave you alone !! i make it balance ...
you jealous i win you everything ...
So sometime you will rather to splash cold water to me , pointing me with the bad that i am not doing it...
you wont give me advice and support me....
The bad you do to me is uncountable and it's a phobia for me and changing the way i treat friends.....
you influence me negative thinking ....
you influence me thought every friends is like you ...
you influence me become so sensitive...
you influence me become a jealousing guy
why you could influence me so much? because last time from my bottom of my heart, you are my best friend. ... best pal ....
i trust you , but my trust exchange a lie from you ....
my trust exchange heart broken from you....
my trust exchange betray from you ....
You are fooling with my heart , my friendship. ...
May be what i have said just now .. all look like im a gay , but when you meet one of a very best friend and now become like a stranger friend ... both of us got no topic .. you will understand that kind of feeling ...

Scandal - Secret Base Song remind me .......

Recently i fall in love to this song Scandal - Secret base - Kimi ga kureta mono .
This song really made me feel wanna cry and so touch ... i wish i could have a secret base with my best friends too .. they could find me out there when im missing / when im down ... when im sad ... when im trying to run away from something ...

i also hope that i could have a fun trip/journey together with my best friends ... May be im playful but kinda touch when u remind back the memories ...

I wont forgot you... even we been apart for so many years ... i believe i got chance to meet you all again... I know the feeling , how hurt the feeling apart with my best friends... You all teach me to appreciate everyone beside me now ... I wont forget you all until the day i die. I miss you...

Lyrics to Secret Base ~Kimi ga Kureta Mono~

The end of the summer with you
Our dreams for the future
The big hopes, I won't forget them
Believing that in August, ten years from now
I'll meet you again
The best memories...

Our meeting was one moment
On the way home at the intersection
You spoke to me
"Let's walk together"
I hid my face with my bag
But really, I was very, very happy

Ah, the fireworks bloom in the night sky beautifully
It's a little sad
Ah, the wind blows along with the time
Being happy, having fun
We went on many adventures, too
Inside our secret base

The end of the summer with you
Our dreams for the future
The big hopes, I won't forget them
Believing that in August, ten years from now
I'll meet you again

From your heart, until the end
I know you shouted, "Thank you"
Holding tears back, smiling a goodbye
It was sad
The best memories...

Ah, summer vacation is almost over
So I hope that the sun and moon get along
Being sad and being lonely
We fought a lot
Inside our secret base

From your heart, until the end
I know you shouted, "Thank you"
Holding tears back, smiling a goodbye
It was sad
The best memories...

I can't do anything about
A sudden transferring to another school
I'll write letters, I'll call you
So don't forget me
Inside our secret base

I talked to you at the end of summer
Looking at the sunset and watching the stars
I'll never forget the tear that rolled down your cheek
I'll never forget you
Waving your hands till the end
So forever, like this, in our dreams...

The end of the summer with you
Our dreams for the future
The big hopes, I won't forget them
Believing that in August, ten years from now
I'll meet you again

From your heart, until the end
I know you shouted, "Thank you"
Holding tears back, smiling a goodbye
It was sad
The best memories...
The best of memories...

Wake up please~

when i could wake up to concentrate on my work , my future ?
I wan motivation ... where is my FIRE goes ?
haiz... ignore it...

People said , when the thing is beside you, you wont appreciate it... May be im being this kind of person bah ...
My 3rd ex-gf , i left her alone and always spend my time on my friends.... in the end she say my friends in my mind is important than girl friends...
my 4th ex-gf , also same thing ... i spend all my time to her , i never do like this before - i always go and find her and spend all my time to her more than my friends.... i lost many friends that time... they dont even invite me to hang out because they know i wont out with them... in the end , i got my holiday 1 month .. and i spend my time to my friends... she said the same thing : ur friends are important than me ... haha
my 5th ex-gf ... due to distance problem , we facing a lot of problem and because my house dont cook ... i have to eat outside.. so that i always hanging out with friends... the reason we break up... also the same... my time spend too much to my friends and friends are important than girl friends...

Very sorry ... im this kind of person ... im so sorry to all my ex-gf and if cant accept my characteristic.... please dont be my girl friends... if not you all will be very suffer .. so please get ready to accept me as your boy friend because i will be the one care my friends more than girl friends... i could make it equal but depends on situation sometimes...

Everytime a lot of thing in my mind but i don't know how to express it out ...
I got many thing wanna tell her ... let her know how to take care of herself ... let her know what to plan for her future ... but , don't know why i cant says this to her. Its difficult for me to open my mouth to say something like this.. Quite miss her...

lol... kinda surprise that i could wait for someone for one n half hours and couldn't contact at all... may be im one way step to being the ME last time... May be other i might very very angry and just get lost from there and will be never contact anymore bah... so weird action , if people know sure scold me why so stupid =.=''

TMD

不知为什么， 心情突然很差。。 感觉到我的心好像被刀插着。。明明今天是个平平淡淡的日子， 还是我在担心着明天的事情呢？
很不想去乱乱想， 可是那个脑拼命的想， 拼命的挣扎。。
这几天很累， 可是又失眠， 睡了还发恶梦醒。 。。
我到底是在烦什么呢？ 难道我就不能像普通人这样？
回想起， 7早8早就和朋友去吃早茶 。。 回来做工。 然后又去吃午餐。。
到了晚上， 要打羽毛球也停电。。 TMD 岁肖。。。
回来打dota又被noob lc ..上msn 又被朋友酸。整天酸个不停。。 tmd 真的想直接下线睡觉。。
就是一整天没好事。。。 阿阿阿啊阿啊阿！！！！！！！！

8th May 2011 Mother's Day ....

Well... its mother's day today. ... really donno what to gift for my lovely mum ...
But i did a good job that's delivered flower for my senior's mother .....
But my senior told me that was ROSE not CARNATION .. =.='' ORZZZZZZZ. ....
Lucky he din't blame on me.... its the shop fault ....

Hmm... im addicted to chinese chess ... although today i lose all the game but i learned a lot .... May be i should be more serious when playing chess , think more ... throw away the laziness to thinking .. .. hmm.. mother's day..... really make me big head... so in the end, choose Fairy fruit cake.. haha.. every years are the same =.=''

Fairy Fruit Cake



look delicous ? still got 4/3 of the cake waiting me to finish it =.=''

hmm.. back to topic, read back my previous blog ... kinda emo and wondering why im so stupid ..
being a good guy in this world are foolish .. reading back the ex-blog.. just realise that i dont like my birthday ... haha, may be im scare dissapointed .. Scare expect too much but in the end came out with nothing... and one of the reason is , family issues .... haizz...

i should :

学会冷血，

只对对我好的人好，

对某些人，

简直就是浪费感情又浪费时间.

学会珍惜，

知心的朋友已经不多，

如果再走，就真的只剩下自己了

学会比以前快乐，学会满足

即使难过，

也要微笑着，让别人看不穿你的伤心

Becoz recent me was so emo and weak ... not like last time , everything settle up myself and cure myself ...

大家一听到“处女座”可能会直接联想到-洁癖，麻烦，罗嗦 ，龟毛，等等。。。

处女座没那么糟吧！

其实，处女座很好相处滴！

处女座的人比较细心！

细心的人通常都很贴心！

所以处女座的朋友会觉得很窝心！

处女座的人也是很好谈心的对象哦！

他们会用他们的理性帮你分析事情，

又会很感性的替开心，替你担心。。。

处女座给人的第一印象- 斯文，害羞，慢热。。

可是熟了之后，你会发现其实他们是疯子一个！

处女座会用他们最擅长的冷笑话逗你开心，

偶尔也会不顾形象的搞笑。。

他们本身的笑点超底！

而且一笑就会笑不停！

很可爱吧？呵呵~

所以，

处女座有点神经质是对的！

处女座有点小小的自卑！

他们怕自己不够好，怕出错。。

只要听到一些关于自己不好的事，

他们会放在心里不开心，

而且会记得一辈子！

这不是因为心眼小，

只是要提醒自己不要再犯同样的错~

处女座其实很敏感！

别人一个眼神，一个动作，

他们都会检讨自己是否做错了什么！

所以，不要怪处女座疑神疑鬼。

他们只是心思比较细腻！

处女座其实不小气！

他们气来得快，

去得也快。

如果是你错的话，

其实一句sorry，

他们的气已经消掉一半了！

只是面子问题。

如果是处女座的错，

他们也会不好意思道歉，

不过会尽量弥补（暗示的方式道歉）。

当处女座说出“对不起”时，

不要再怪他们了，

因为他们需要花很多的时间说服自己把那三个字说出来！

P/s: 不要跟处女座的人翻旧帐噢，

因为他们翻旧帐的速度，

绝对比翻书还快！

他们天生就拥有超人般的记忆力！

处女座伶牙俐齿。

有时说话太直接，

就被人误解成他们说毒，嘴巴贱！

人家只是心直口快了一点嘛>.

如果想要听实话，可以找他们聊一聊！

嘿嘿~

就是因为处女座伶牙俐齿，

所以当他们甜起来也是不偿命！

他们很可以SWEET的~

P/s: 当你跟处女座吵架时，

处女座不说话是不想场面难看！

他们也要形象的！

可是如果处女座的忍耐也已经到一种极限时，

他们一开口就不会停了！

他们会连你的祖宗都一起问候！

那时你连还嘴的机会都没有！

不过，处女座骂完后，

气消了，自己还会觉得内疚~

囧囧囧囧囧 （无语）囧囧囧囧囧

处女座不一定有洁癖！

他们的洁癖也不一定是

家里干净，衣服干净，

包包整齐，衣橱整齐！

也许是在感情上的洁癖！

也有处女座是没有洁癖的，好吗？

他们可以房间乱得跟狗窝一样，

可是只要一出门

一定会帅帅的，美美的！

他们只是比较注重形象而以！

对他们而言那是对别人和对自己的一种尊重！

这也算洁癖吗？

处女座也是很有义气滴~

他们喜欢被需要，

尤其是他们喜欢的人（包括朋友）。

只要你有事找他们，

处女座一定义不容辞！

虽然有时都自身难保了。

可是，

他们还是会帮！

谁叫他们喜欢被需要，

喜欢帮助别人后的成就感！

有时也挺犯贱滴。

所以，

处女座没想像中的难相处吧？

他们还很可爱呐！

当他们的朋友或是另一半

你绝对是幸福的，幸运的！

6th of May 2011

Seven morning eight morning so many ppl phone me to wake me up from my nightmare ....
hmm.. wake up in the early morning, and there's some frd delivery me breakfast .. quite surprise and touch =.='' and sweat =.=''
btw , i told my mum that i might be died early because i read some news said that the human like me, eat many but cant fat.. must be careful ... then my mum gave me a lot bullshit ...
Somehow, she dont understand about me but she act like knowing me very well ... keep on crap on me... i really don't know how to communicate with my family , my joke they dont like , normal chat they get wrong channel and reply me other answer ... I'm quite worry what happen if i die fast ? around 40 years old ? think good way , if i died first than all of my friends... i may be can help them to get TOTO / 4-D ? hahaha... helping them avoid from accident ?
Once they dont understand still acting very understand my situation ...
Haizz... lucky i ignored this stupid case and bought McD for my mum ^^ .. she like the fried ..

hmmm.... 2.30pm, i went out with thomas to go flower shop buy carnation for my senior's mother.... He's in KL so that he need my help... i received a very cold n funny joke from Thomas, he said that we should buy "kek hua" and give my mum on Mother's Day , 1st , its beautiful , smelly , 2nd, can cook it to " kek hua zui " =.=' zha dou.. drink with ur mouth and sweet inside mom's heart...

haiz.... tio frd angry again ... i wonder why he's so sensitive n small gas, im just only asking him wanna i fetch him or he go himself for the movie show tonight and he said like i dont want to fetch him and go himself... after this , i been scolded by someone becoz i accidently killed a kitty =.='' haizz... things had happen, scold me also no use mar... want because of a kitty to effect our friendship ? not worst ...

whole night i could see that friend that small gas one.... emo .. or ... show his lanci angry face to me ... what for ? we hanging out for movie show, suppose enjoy the moment mar...everytime like that , a bit then show his angry beh song face to me... we know each other since 12 years old... already 11 years friendship ... are we best friend? close friend ? it should be past bah ...

arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... i received a bad news from my didi-puppyzai... he said that he might not coming back to Msia this year ... miss him badly .... But if he's happy there and could save the air ticket... should stay there for holiday bah...

**** my wish **** i wish i can cry out loud ...

The brothers in my life.. ..

The brothers in my life.. ..

Suddenly i miss the day when in secondary ... Raymond, still remember we play digimon inside the class ? fight boss ..... press for super power .... " president " in Sejarah Form4 Text book i go say it Resident Evil ... in the end, we laugh too loud and teacher scold us again ... AGAIN.. .. we ride bycle together , bang car together with bycle in front of SP Farmasi ... We went taekwondo together ... eat together ... play together .... study together .... get scold by teacher together becoz we played too much in class n talkative ... LOL ...

Still remember how richard cheong scold both of us in class ?? he scold that we are too noisy and not concentrate in the class... LOL ... Still remember both of us got disturb by malay in ur tuition centre ? and A lot of MALAY GIRLS kacau and chase you .... its really laugh my ass out ...

So sad when we form4 , we only have time together during rest time and tuition centre ... until we graduate , we less contact... but perhaps , our heart still remember each other... we keep in touch on sms , phone call and msn .... so glad see that you stand long ever with your girl friends... Sometime might got stress but be happy ya... Thanks you Raymond always help me when i need help .... and thanks you that always treat me makan ... quite pai seh with it ... u back to sp, suppose i treat u makan de ma ... hahahaa. ... .. Brother forever.

Year 2005 , im so lucky that my dream come true .My dream - wanted to have a brother in my life . ... I knew my god brother - Rocky aka PuppyZai .... i still remember how we know each other... Centre Square - Bowling centre.. both of us are spinner bowler , and he come to me introduce himself and share his skills with me, so ngam , i knew few of his friends.. . after that, everyday after school, we met in bowling centre... From 2.30pm bowl until 5.30pm or 6pm++ but so sad that's year 2006 im graduate and went to penang for studies , both of us totally lost contact until year 2007 or 2008.. cant remember it, but i remember is dota bring us back.... dota bring us to become brothers ...

Both of us have no secret... we share everything in our heart together , i still remember there's one time my classmate told me that dont too close and good to my brother because may be one day he will betray me ... i told my brother and he reply something that i very touch for it ... he said : kor , if one day i betray you , that day will be the day that i die and get into hell ... I felt so guilty that .... one more thing ..... he asked me when we going travel with friends... he ask that : what happen if one day he betray me .? what will i do ... and i ask back him too... but the answer really touch me ... deep into my heart and i feel so happy or +++ .. he said even you(tiger) betrayed me , i still give my 100% trust on you ... ...

Now he went to UK , i really hope that he enjoy his life and having good result there ... because he's a happy person ... he's so funny when he laugh or do some action ... So sad that we had less conversation after he went to UK , but im telling myself, not he's not good to me... he is really busy on the assignment.. so i dont even like to disturb him now ... better let him concentrate on studies ... today 5.5.2011 ... hopefully he could come back to Msia this year , wish to see him this brothers .... Best Brothers 4ever~

Due to some issue on year 2008, i locked my heart to all of my friends, i help them when they need my help but i wont give my heart to trust them... i want to protect myself of being cheated , betray and ++ ......... But this friend , he seem like got PS3 金手子 .. he open my locked just in 1 weeks ... This best buddy Thomas ... i knew this friend 5 years ago but we didnt meet up , we only msn chat after our 1st met together with nigel and shawn .... really want to thanks to eddy , he bring us together for badminton and we meet back ... because of Ragnarok Online , he find me everyday for bot service and some game's information .... i dont mind of helping him even its on 2am / 3am ... or woke me up from my sweet dream ... i just treat as normal friend help..

Until one day we went to summer pearl for lunch / dinner.. forgot edi... to do RO thing.. he treat me that meal ... its not cheap ya, i ate a lot ... almost near Rm20 .. its such a long time no body treat me eat already .. except two of my best brothers ... From that day, i start to treat him different , just in 1-2 weeks ... we share our secret together ... its kinda fast , im so curious why we so easy to talk ... Secret is a part of privacy but we share it .sometimes in the middle of the night around 2-3am we still hanging out for supper .. .. But because of my phobia on 2008 , i keep on suspect this best buddy izziz trying to play with my feeling , cheating me ? scam me ? i donno why im become like this becoz usually once the friend become my best buddy, i give 100% of trust to them ... i feel so sorry and guilty to him ..

Thanks a lot to him , he helped me , carry me a lot this two months .... im so down and despaired.. he said that im closed / best friend to him, but im fucking betray him of being not trust on him and suspect that its that real ? LOL .... this might past or may be now im still think of it ...May be is his attitude and pattern bah... hmm teh hmm tiu de macam tu and low profile ... always dont show out his feeling ... One thing im sure is i do appreciate this best buddy ...because sometime the caring he said to me is really surprise me , this wont came our from my friends ...although we are not close as last time when we first met , but i believe that our heart is caring and helping each other ... i hope this will be the truth to each other too ... .sometime looking at him feel so pity him, because of family business he gave up his talents and his dream and work with dad...

Seriously at here i want to say sorry to this buddy , becoz of my phobia , my emotional and my suspect , we did quarrel ... i think its consider quarrel gua. =.='' .. but he forgive me and understanding my situation ... really sorry and thanks ... and sorry that i turn him bad ...


lastly i hope three of these brothers , live long , always be happy because im enjoy with the smile u guy gave , its make me feel better when im down . .... a joker - raymond .... many cold joke came from him ... really make me rolling on floor laugh .... a funny - rocky always did the funny move and emotion ...... cute - thomas hahaha.. his smile , really funny n cute.... like a kid ...

I dont believe in god , but i thanks god or its my fate to know u all .... im very lucky to know you all .... ....

Write for happy thing ? or sad thing ?

Write for happy thing ? or sad thing ?
many thing in my mind but i cant manage which to write first ..
becoz all of them got a very long story ..

But recently , im so miss her ... my heart is so pain ... why cant we together ?
A starting month of May , already had three couple that's having love problem and two of them already broke up. its quite sad to seeing of it ..

I'm quite emo and stress when my dad went in hospital on 27.3.2011 ....
i cant control all of my emotion , there's a lot of thing trouble me...
1st is dad's business , then sister there ar .. keep on annoying on me .. for my future and my dad's business ...
2nd , my gf she dont understand my situation , i wanted to give her sometime for dating but im really cant do it. i have no enough of time ...
3rd, all of the stress make me emo and suspect of my best friends ... hmm i think i got quarrel with them bah.. or i put my anger on them ...

can say everyday i have argument with my girl friend since that day... on sms / on call .. its make me feel that i dont want to talk with her becoz im stress enough, i dont want to have more issue bring it on me... im wondering why every of my ex-gf is complain im good to friends more than them? They knew im good to friends than girl friend ... but if they cant accept it , why want to be my girl friend?

I dont like people control me, i have my own life... they should appreciate it i got time for them to chat or having dinner / date ... i dont even give my family a proper family dinner after chinese new year... even chinese new year, i had one dinner with my family..

Last night, have quarrel with my sis ... she the one who love me a lot when i was young... i asked her to stop for the stupid argument last night but she keep on mention about it.. somemore its on public ( facebook )