- update loh ...

aiya.. 3am, cant sleep then start my blog ...

19 November 2011 Saturday...

Small Li and yamateh invited me to see sunset with them ...

got Fook ling ar... Nigel ar... two of them ar.. and cindy ar...

We plan to go tanjung dawai but donno why they change the plan to Semeling jetty...

We took a lot crazy pic there ...

But seem like less one person there..

then we took a lot ki siao photo and i seem been sm-ed by those girls =.=''

and there's a malay professional photographer was there...

and he took a lot of out photo cause we look so funny ...

At night we had dinner at Village mall ...

Coz we got movie show around 10.10pm ...

Puss in Boots...

A really nice movie and funny ... But i felt it's so touching ..

Puss and Egg boy was brothers ... Both of them swear brother forever ...

But due to some reason .... they quarrel ...

Puss got a deep scar in his heart ...

Look at them, i felt like shadow of me n him ...

After movie, all go back home without supper... cause after watched the movie,

i also dont have any mood to eat ... no appetite ...

then that night, jun was over night at my house ... by the time we reach home around 12am ...

then he play with my figure to make pose ...

but unfortunaly i broke my Figma's figure hand .. T_T now it's stuck inside.... ....

Then we make many pervert pose for my figure ...

After played, both of us chat until 3am++ until beh tong le then only sleep...

but i can't sleep... feel hungry ...

then go find something eat... after eat, fresh ki ... =.=''

until 7am++ only can sleep.. sleep until 10am then wake up prepare to go penang ....

20 November 2011 Sunday

2011 2011 , a special day.... also penang bridge run today ...

but i had to go penang queensbay today ... wanna take my tamiya mini 4wd from supplier ..

just order it ....too bad is many stock that i wan already stop manufacturing or out of stock ...

then having lunch at queensbay ... Xian Wei restaurant ..

reach home around 4pm ...

take a rest ..... nua nua my bed ....

until 6pm++ go bath and fetch small li , jun and cindy for movie ...

The Advanture of Tin Tin ..

This cartoon was my fav when i was small ...

on the way to fetch jun,

small li joking there said me n jun are so close now.. look like a gay partner ...

well this is her 3rd times saying me gay .. although i know is joke but i will mad for it.. ..

Then cindy she said, last time me and that bro lagi close ... we will called up to ask wanna delivered any food or not ...

then small li keep on saying eeee u really turn gay jor.. dont ler.... and bla bla bla..

It's fucking annoyed me and i choose to be silent ... i lazy to explain so many ...

she can say me ... but please dont say my bro ...

After pick up Jun and we had dinner at the chicken rice shop ...

by 7.45pm, our movie start ...

may be im too tired for whole day whole night ...

i slept in cinema =.='' until the movie end...

it's not because of the movie bored or not nice... but is i really feel tired.. haha

After movie, they went to wash room and i go for arcade ...

play my initial d6aa ...

Cause it's last day for my Akagi Battle Event...

so far my ranking in the world now is top 100 for this even and rank no2 in malaysia..

just change for rm2 and played 3 games.. won 3 continues ... and hit my event point to 30k

When i reach home, i saw my 4th sis was back to sp ...

and she told me something that what mom said to me last few days ago ...

she said .... this baru the real me... this only look like me ... she is mention about my body ..

not fat anymore ... thin =.=''

walao eh, i just measure my weight last nite and today.. last night i got 63.9kg(whole day boh eat ) and today is 66.8kg ( after eat ) .... swt la... my target 80kg ...

3.15am ... my sis suddenly knock my door .. say wanna tell me something...

manatau ... she come in to tell me the joke .... that make both of us rolling on floor laugh ...

mom ask come say us dont so loud .... but the joke was damn funny and make me more fresh now .....

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Bro, when im at semeling jetty i wish u could be there with us ... to take that photo together ...

when i watched puss in boots... i understand the scar in ur heart very deep... deep to ur heart ...

sorry ... really sorry from my bottom of my heart ...

i hope one day, both of us can hanging out to yum cha ... talk any shit we like ... just like we didnt argue before ....

I heard she said, ur phone spoil edi ... seem like u changed to samsumg ...

Do u still remember i told you about vivi using de sony erickson?

now she regret that said the phone lag and wanna change new phone ... haha...

Last friday vivi came to sp ... come to visit my mom...

she asked me how is both of us... i told her i also got no idea ... and then just ask her dont ask about this cause i dont want to mention again ...

and i rather to choose continue trust you ...

what are you doing recently ? any changed ?

well, im doing better than my past now ...

tell you hor... i always though i could let go ... but i always think about what we had done before .... it's automatik remind me ...

from a song ... anime .... movie ..... even food ....

well.... dont eat so much fried or oily food ar.. sleep early too ..

and After i watched puss in boots .... puss and egg boy can be brother back even they argue and betray each other ... i could more believe that we also can... may be this world are realistic but i told you my turn to believe n trust you now right? just dont take it as a pressure ...

like what u said... think far before do anything ...

Because after this movie, i realise that our matter just a small case, we should remind back and feel how we treat each other before in last time more than the moment we quarrel ...

Because i know we wont lose to one argue and lost all our trust and care in the past ...

one more thing is, hope u understand my situation about hanging out with them too. cause im not the organizer and im just follower ... they need me to fetch them as well too ...

and small li didnt say anything about you cause she donno what happen too ... and she just pointing at me nia.. hope u dont mind yea..

Good Night bro ....

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Day 19....

Day 20 ....

- lazy

what a busy and tiring saturday n sunday...

update blog tml .. lazy lolz

day 20

- 18th November 2011 Friday

Today vivi came to visit me and mom ..

Then me and vivi had lunch at Edo Ichi ....

hmm.. We chat a lot ... crap a lot ...

Until 5pm she drive back to butterworth ... careful when driving yea ..

After that, take a rest .... too tired and outside is raining and make me feel lazy ...

At night went out with Jun for dinner ...

He asked me a lot of thing ....

Had a nice chat with him too ...

After that goto fetch Willy and drop Jun back ..

Then my Initial D6AA start...

Akagi battle event ... and im so bad luck met a fucking pro ass R35 for FOUR TIMES..

He got nice blocking ... lose all the game when battle with him, but im just stick right behind him..... He's so good on blocking already...

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bro how r u doing recently? guess that u also had a long time didnt go for badminton edi rite...

anyway try to do more exercise to avoid high blood pressure and so on ...

well, just a normal care ...

Feel like to share you the feeling when vivi came to visit me ... but .... ....

This weekend penang gurney plaza got japanese festival event ... you going?

So far got eating competition.... wasabi sushi and ramen competition ...

cosplay event , cards game and ++ etc

kinda feel weird im trying to deliver my message to you with this way and im not sure you are reading or not ... haha ...

Oh ya, i dream about you and raymond last night ... raymond become teacher and open a tuition class in ur shop ... me and xiu fu pass by there and you look at me with an angry eyes =.=''

weird dream ...

Day 18

如果有一天我们变陌生了，那么我就重新认识你

- 17th November 2011 Thursday

Today , a big surprise for me is ... the friend that hanging with me now ... one of them is my best friend when im 7 years old and we been tuition together .....

Had a good day today without any emo thing ....

Enjoying my 气功 class ...

Nothing special but busy for date with friend every night ...

Lunch having together with seow li and rong jun at eupe food court ...

didnt feel full or hungry after i ate duck rice and add duck meat =.=''

Many thing to do now,

gonna learn the piano song myself without anyone teaching ...

continue with my business page and also forum ..

Not enough time for me to do it ..

This week i had my dinner around 12am++ =.=''

Wondering what happen if me and the bro meet again at outside ?

I just act donno and walk pass away ?

treat like a stranger ?

Or give a hi ?

Don't know... See what reaction he give to me first bah ...

Good night bro ...

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Day 17

-Bitch Come and talk for it or else shut the fuck up and get lost ~

To that one who i mention in previous post,

if u read it and u dont like it...

just come and talk to me...

No need to say anything in front of other ..

What u had done we all knew...

Not only what i written in previous post only ...

Even the C girl also personal message to me and say THANKS for helping her that giving back her pure ...

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Even i knew i wrote about that bitch will cause many side effect to me ...

But this is the way i am...

i told yea i wont let any GIRLS stand on my head anymore ...

i endure for so many months ....

if i dont shout out ... IM NOT WHO IM ....

I dont care what will i deserved , i only know if im being silent ... its wont be fair for me..

I'm too kind for you all to bully ...

I being silence doesnt mean i don't know...

I just dont want to argue in wrong timing and i givin chance ....

Don't think im dumb ... you are the one who fooling yourself only ..

May be you are success , but god will let u deserved what you had done today in one day ...

If reality that me n that friend will be like this until the day i end my breath ..

i rather to shout it all thing that piss- me off ...

Because at least i got the good memories with me ...

x bro if you think we just someone who pass-by our life ...

I just wanna let you know.. for me you are not ...

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Today, i delete and untag a lot of photo between me and him ...

i though these could be erase all my memories or relationship with the friend...

But this, couldn't access because i did appreciate so much ...

Yup, appreciate and respect is in heart ... but different people.. different express for their appreciate and respect .. Just different type doesn't mean not respect or not appreciate ...

If you dont speak it out, other won't know what you are thinking ....

Although i go through my life now, don't know why i like to read back our chat logs... photos...

and some memories ..

I admit that my time was stopped at 19th August 2011 ...

But this is what i deserved because i really fault at early stage to say something hurting a true friends heart ...

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I know someone will angry or whatever after he/she read the post ...

But try to stand on my position.. my situation to think of my feeling ...

Not blaming you all just hope that understand my feeling ...

I dont care what the fuck who's fault ... who's right .... it's doesn't important now ....

那些年，我們一起追的女孩 though me a lot to let go and remember the memories we had ...

I let go not meant by im giving up ... not meant i dont appreciate or what the fuck up ...

Just i blessed from my bottom of my heart to him have a good good life ....

Else i'm just annoyed to him ...

What i can say for myself is ... im really stupid .... .....

But i will stop all these end of this year ...

Next year will be the year that i didn't met with you all ...

New year ... New life ... New friends ....

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Day 16

- 13 November 2011 Sunday

-12 November 2011 Saturday night....

Over night at B'zai house tonight and we discuss for tomorrow-sunday trip ...

we chat all the night , facebook-ing , spam group chatting together ...

Until 3am++ we only off to bed ...

But tonight, i cant sleep ... im awake until morning 7am and morning call two leng lui to ask them wake up ... and then i go get ready myself ...

- 13 November 2011 Sunday...

8.30am start to fetch those leng lui go Penang.... and meet A'Zai at queensbay mall to pick him up and let him bring us to try the best food in Penang today.. consider a food trip...

1st we went to BJ complex there had a nice nasi lemak... the sambal n chicken was nice...

and then we go balik pulau there try the siam laksa ...

Then i plan to bring them go batu muagh ,, but forgot the road and go back to georgetown area...

Then we tried mee goreng ... at pulau tikus there... so near my old hostel and i didnt know the mee goreng was so nice and famous ... xD

Next destination .... indian street cendol ...

wooo, surprise me is... there's so many people waiting for the cendol ...

After cendol, new world park ice kacang... although i ate until sien ... but impossible im so selfish and didnt bring them mar ...

well the time around 2pm++ we went to ferry there, try wt wt ice ar.. hmm.... its like jelly + ice and one biji of ... er.... longan =.=''

After that, we went back to queensbay seaside ... because have to drop A'zai back there before 5pm...

3 guys having guy talk there and 2 girls having girl talk there....

Suddenly, someone ask me what happen to me last few weeks ... cause see im so quiet when hanging out ...

so i tell that girl i had quarrel wif my best bro and feel sad for it only ...

im dont want to let her know the story ... and she keep on asking ... make me down ....

and by that time, i saw a car with that plate number.. i look inside the car... is that bro .. ermm... is that friend ...

i was like.. OMFG O.O!!!

i though in sp we always met at outside because of sp small ...

but in penang wor =.='' still can see dao him ...

i don't know this is jodoh or the fate that want me to face it so hard ....

so i told tat girl, the bro i mention just now, just pass by =.='' lolx..

and she keep on forcing to msg him that said i saw him ...

let him know atleast im still caring about his this friend ..

seriously i felt not to disturb him now and calm down myself...

But she keep on forcing me... talk about it .... in the end i send the msg , so she could stop ...

then we went to Sunway Carnival ...

watch 6.45pm movie - 那些年，我们一起追得女孩。。

真的很喜欢这部戏。。

让我感动，心酸和感触到流泪了3-4次。。

看到他们那么好的友情，吵架打架，到后来还是关心着大家。。

明明彼此那么的爱对方。。 可是就是不原意的开口。。

虽然他们俩到最后不能在一起。。 可是相信他们的心中都有大家。 。

看到自己好朋友和自己喜欢的女孩在一起的时， 也没有去干涉他们。。

他们的友情还真的很好。。

如果，真的如果。。 我真的很想回到我们没有吵架时的友情。。

回忆。。这部戏。。 勾起了我很多很多和我的好朋友在一起的回忆。。

不止是和这个兄弟。。 也勾起了我从小到大是的好朋友。。

每一个， 我都记住在心目中。。

有维伦，龙洲，东洲，开源，伟伦，等等。。。

虽然有些在我很小时我们就因为家庭搬家而分开，

可是我的心永远都还记得我们在一起的时刻。。。

不知你还记得我们一起玩ro的时。。 找好吃的食物。。

分享身边的趣事或烦恼。。

互相的扶持着双方。。

一起打球。。 出门走走。。 等。。

真的很想要挽回这个友情，让它变回以前那样。。

可是尽了一切的努力。。 还是不能。。

x也有你自己的生活，我也不必再做贱自己没有尊严的去挽回。

因为你不想， 我再怎么努力的挽回也没有用。。

明明那么小事，却搞到那么严重，一点也不像你。。

哪怕有一天， 你还记得我这个曾经的兄弟，找我喝茶或打球吧。。

因为我说过我会遵守我们是兄弟这个的约定。。 即使你忘了。。

我们那些美好的回忆。。 只会是回忆的陪伴着。。。

不是你的话， 我现在不会发现身边那么多爱我，关心我的朋友。。

也不会振作的为我自己而奋斗。。 我该说谢谢你。。

当然， 我也希望在我那么幸福的生活中， 会有回你和我以前的那段友情，兄弟情。

这个， 看天或你了。。 我还会是一样，选择相信，信任和等。。

再见了。。 friend/bro

有时不去计较一切，勇敢地踏出第一步。。

大家才会快乐。。

说真的我也忘了我们吵架一直到被问起。。

因为我只记得那些美好的回忆。。

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我会记住那个名叫wen xin 的女人。

是她说她很保密。。 这是她的为人。。

我还傻傻的以为她可以是中间人帮我们和好。。

可是， 该说的她不说， 不该说的就说-还是说尾不说头。。。或者是说头不说尾。

还自己做贼心虚删除了我面子书。。

还想在我这里套话。。。

Bitch, 还在他和我的面前说 C女单独的参别人。。

要不是我去问， 永远的被你骗, C女也给你诬蔑了。。

Dont say im rude... Dont say i put the blame on you ...

But in fact you are directly who make this incident become worse..

No wonder she got so less friends around her...

That's what i curious when i friend with her...

Now i know why ...

After asking some's friend that know her...

Just only know she's really BITCH...

Day 15

- Day 13

Day 13...

tired... update blog tml zzzzzzzzz

- 11th November 2011 11pm11mins,11sec Day 11

A special day and i made my wish at 11th November 2011, 11am .11mins 11sec ...

I wish that everything will be like last time, our brotherhood never break ...

I know this cant be force but just a little wish ....

Wondering how are this bro now?

How's his life going on? so far so good ?

or still the same, work like dog ? =.=''

Many thing feel wanna talk to ... like, brother's talk? health care?

haizz whatever lar... just joking and bullshit around ... play together .... hope all these will happen again...

He still willing yum cha wif me? i don't know... since so long he didnt contact me already..

Having a good time with friends tonight at Bites ... and i also received a hand make jelly from a girl ^^

Nice.. thanks a lot...

Ystd was a great day for me.. Sold 4 pieces of yugioh card and earn RM200 , and sold my Ferrari car set for RM160 ... just run my business through facebook ...

So far my page that selling bandai's product such as gunpla, mask rider havent done yet...

but before december should be can promote it and forum as well too ...

But at night was a nightmare for me... i though im so good slept at 12am... but i woke up at 1.40am.... 2.30am.. and then 3.20am.... fed up.. cannot sleep back anymore... then wait until 6am++ only sleep back... woke up at 11.11.11 10am++ ... had a bad bad nightmare...

i dream i killed someone , and his soul is coming to me for revenge ...

Day 11

- Release ....

Don't know why, after this incident about me n him...

I a bit try to accept my sister ...

Try to more communicating with her ...

May be now i understand her feeling that losing the one she love...

The hurt... the pain ... the sadness ... those upset can kills you ...

It's doesnt mean anything, i just realise that.... love everyone beside you...

Love the one who really care on you ...

Trust anybody.... and never give up, miracles might happen everyday...

Life is just like math ... we need to calculate evaluate it from negative to positive ...

Day 10

- how to stop ....

everytime i went to KL, i got a feeling that im damn suit kl life...

kl night life i guess ...

i miss kl ... hate to be in sp ... sad place ..

and i realise that, i finish 1 pack of rokok in 2 days..

damn heavy smoker and so hard to stop now..

i cant control not to smoke now...

but still trying my best last two days.. just smoke 2-3 times per day..

sorry that i couldn't keep this promise ... just give me some times to adjust back ..

may be i should prepare my last will .. just in case anything happen to me...

Day 9

- 8th November 2011 Tuesday

Haiz... though im so guai zai slept before 1am... manatau .. woke up at 4.45am =.=''

in the end sleep back around 7am and go to work around 11am ...

haiz.. really hate insomia, make me dont have a healthy life style ..

when i can totally relax myself ?

tonite 气功 class... too imba...

they open - love game , poker face , just dance , bad romance ++ song ...

fuiyoh... see dao those uncle aunty ... haha feel funny ...

Recently many memories pass by my mind ...

Having this photo at his house... really a wonderful moment we had..

Kind of symbol of bros but it's past ... i do like we cheer each other by doing punch like this..

haha... tai lou and sai lou ... i look like gangster ... xD

谁对你好，谁对你不好， 难道没眼看吗？

宁愿相信某些人的闲言闲语也不要相信一个没心害你的人？　

这难道是所谓的信任？　

难道因为了小小错误，就判死刑？

阿阿阿阿阿啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊～～～～～

不要以为什么都是你对。　我不出声和争论只是我希望快点把事情结束。

你要说就说，　我要说时你就不听，自私吗？　

要乱的话，早就乱倒荷兰了。。　

难道没有顾到别人的感受吗？　

发泄完了。。　

最近不知干吗，　遇到这样的人。。　还好不是很熟。。　

希望某某人不会误会是他就好。。这只不过是个发泄的过程来平衡心态。。

看来真的要看心理医生。。　心理有点不平衡了。。　

不知要等到几时。。　

还好最近一直有人约。。　

还有的是　Ａ仔和Ｂ仔。。　还蛮关心人的。。　

Day 8

　

- KL KL KL ..

坐5th November 2011 11.59pm 的巴士去KL .。

7早8早到那边。。 吃mcd早餐 =.='' ( 一直mcd不会sien mer )

整晚在巴士不能睡。。 脑海中闪过了很多的回忆。。

某某回忆和一些以前和他们来kl比赛的回忆。。

虽然这次， 我没有比， 可是精神上支持。。

9am++ 我参两个朋友去找hotel。。 做好了一切后， 进房休息。。

很累的我。。 看到床， 竟然睡不到 =.=''

算了， 休息一下， 要赶到 Time Square 去meet 朋友。。

一些玩 Initial D6aa 的人 。。

本打算等下去One Utama 的， 因为还有要meet的朋友在那边。。

可是， nigel 他们比赛那边出了点出错， 搞到每个人都很火。。

我只好叫他们回房好好休息和准备吧。。

没办法， 只好call 给那个要meet 我的朋友说我不能去1U 了。。

到了晚上， tmd 他们又再要吃 mcd 因为懒惰找 =.=''

吃完后， 就等朋友来载我去 Desa Sri Petaling 那边meet 人， 喝茶。。。

然后我们还下到 那边打snooker..

还游车河。。。 下MidValley

可是我要早回， 因为没有room key。。 1.45 am 到房间。。

可是又是一个失眠的晚上。。。 我和朋友在电话聊天到4.30am 才睡觉。。

在下午的时候， 我msg 问候了一位兄弟， 可是多希望在msg 中我是写bro而不是friend/dude。

不过，还是要多多看开和接受吧。 相同的命运就是我们到最后还是放弃自己的梦想。。

和家里做工。。

隔天， 7th November 2011 Sunday 。。

比赛当天。。 Good Luck to them bah..

我大概11.30am 就等我的姐姐来在我去 One Utama 然后 Ikano/Ikea。。

因为要过去买4wd车和坐朋友的车回sp。。

要不然我要等到12am的巴士。。 我会发疯的。。

真个下午我的很冲忙。 快快买完了就走人。。。

吃也吃快快。。 哈哈。。。

晚上收到好消息。 nigel的team。。 拿到了Msia 第三名。。

下次自己驾车来。。 因为还有3-4gang的朋友， 没有空和他们见面。。

Recently there's so many friends accompany around me...

Especially A and B ... three virgo guy =.='' i should go have a nick with C at the start ..

hmm.. i guess they might say [C]ock =.=''

Planning next time going down to KL with both of them...

Already decide to go just haven't plan the date yet..

Have to come down to check all the modelling/toy's price list and shopping eat ho liao...

Cheer up and take care mr.TO

- 3th November 2011 Thursday

Went to yak wha for my lunch today and take a visit to factory see how they produce the snack ...

Now all using machine, last time when mom working at this factory, all hand job ..

Today 的气功班太厉害了，他们开clubbing de song.. Got friday night, hit on the dance floor, give me everything tonight ... Etc,
Imagine inside all old folk and listen to this kind of song .. Really LOLZ

Music really can make people feel happy / relax in good situation ...

Still the same feeling, look at those uncle aunty enjoy with smile face... i feel so glad...

Don't know why i got this feeling, may be it's because i miss my grandpa and grandma..

That why i more love to old folks..

After finish the class, gel called me supper with him...

He told me something happen on him and make him unhappy ...

Plan to go old town, but i changed my mind to E-burger..

After reach home, i felt so lucky that i didnt go old town...

Why i seem like trying to escape from someone ?

May be i really need sometime to accept the fact ...

In the class, i told myself everyone are having their life... just let go the unhappy thing but not giving up ...

Live for my ownself .... do what i should do ...

See... even him also having a happy life now and forget the past .... why i cant?

i know my ownself dont want to forget his goods and the memories ... that's why i cant make it ... or can say i dont want to let go ...

I wanted to remember what i have done, what's my mistake ....

Day 4

Temperory say Good-Bye to Sungai Petani-ans...

- 2011 11 02 Wednesday

平常的一天。。 还是到了晚上就忙碌。。

很开心的和朋友去看戏。 看一些不该看的东西。。

还商量几时要去club喝酒。。

gel 说看到我都替我担心。。 说吃饭时， 看到我的手一直抖。。 =A='''

整个晚上一直吃。。

8pm+ 吃炒饭， 9pm+ 吃chicken popcorn , 10pm+ 吃烧肉面和chicken wing。。

还是饿。。。

回家吃零食， chocolate =.=''

不明白什么肚子来。。。 吃不饱。。

___________________________________________________________________

TMD 为什么最近看的戏都说那些经典的话。。 什么一日兄弟， 一生都是兄弟， 什么兄弟没有隔夜仇。。。

什么只要相信，一切都会成真。。

看看了， 发现原来我一直以来都骗着自己。。

好累。。 明明只要放开， 就好了。

干吗要犯奸呢， 干吗不放弃？ 自己也不明白。。

只知道自己相信会有那么的一天到来。。

最近真的pokai９９　。　吃还是不敢花钱。。　毕竟需要到ＲＭ２ｋ来救我的ｈａｒｄｄｉｓｋ．．　有时就吃多，　有时一天一餐的经济饭。。　多数也是在晚餐。。。　

day 3

- What i had learn today

Insomia until 5am+ only sleep..

It continues 1 week jor...

haizz ....

A wonderful and meaningful day i had today ...

Early morning drive to Penang, see doctor... can say see my uncle.. he's doctor..

He said i no need eat any medicine for my thyroid...

And he scold WHAT THE HELL to this stupid wellness lab charge so expensive and

did so much unnecessary test ....

After that went to Gurney Plaza meet up with friend ...

Actually only meet up a friend and train initial d6aa de..

But met 3 gangs of friends at gurney plaza...

=.='' Home town at sungai petani but very less met any friend here...

Once in Penang, met so many friends..

Wondering should i go to Penang?

5pm back to sp from penang... but 7pm reach home =.=''

Fast fast rush bath and go out..

Cause friend's mom tarik me go train 气功。。

First time went there and learn 气功。。

I learn many new thing there...

Look at those aunty and uncle, they are so enjoy for the dance? or warming up?.. wtever la

Some of them, did so hard... big movement...

There's a aunty wear mini skirt and dance like dancing in the club... LOLZ..

The song also HOT than we teenagers song...

And mix up the song with chinese / malay and ++ like really 1 Malaysia...

Right there making my mind so fresh and feel so glad...

So old aunty uncle ... some of them consider grandpa and grandma...

Still training there and having a good healthy life... Proud of them...

After the training ....

Looking for food.. Because just realise that whole day so busy until didn't eat =.=''

Plan go to bites but close then went to Summer Pearl ...

Don't know is 天作弄人 or what .... Met a birthday boy there ...

haha in the end i realise i not dare to ask him out tonight was right ...

btw.. wish him Happy Birthday bah ...

Day 1

- 11111

1.11.11

x5 1 in this year... 11111

hmm.. Happy Birthday to those people who are having their birthday today ...

Wish them got a nice day and good health ..

- 30th October 2011 Sunday

A busy Sunday from morning to evening..

Have to meet up with customer then bank and so on...

Tonight don't know why, insomia and felt so down..

slept around 5am ...

Reading my dairy ... the tears drop ... until i hug my dairy and sleep and i also don't know =.=''

May be too tired after cr!ed ..

Lucky now after i woke up... i refresh my mood already..

Its a new day and new life..

After woke up, everything in my mind gone positive....

But first thing i remember is.... need to go Penang see doctor and take my thyroid medicine ... =.=''

Monday... I fight for it ....

- 29 October 2011 Saturday

不知怎么说， 晚上很快就到了， 心里的心情很忐忑。不知晚上看到他会有什么的反应。。

整理好我的房间和去买些bbq要用到的东西 。 还好来的及， 6点就到了朋友家帮忙等下的bbq。。

不错一下， 很多人都出现。。 我和他也好像没什么事情发生， 有说话。。

看到每个人都开开心心的享受。。。 有说有笑。。

不过给我还是有点尴尬， 所以只好享受我喜欢烤bbq的过程， 也没什么吃东西。。

说真的， 自己是希望可以和他们一起到bbq结束。 可是有朋友要来我家过夜， 还是要提早回。。

看到他那么开心，自己也开心和认为一切都值得的。 心里也认为果然我选择相信他这个兄弟是没错的。

After that, i msg him after the party, asked how's the party going on and ++

well... he said thanks you for today to me...

It's kinda surprise that i read this message.. it's shock me and i felt what i did are worth...

I felt happy when reading this message...

The party quite successful and also need thanks to LiangZai....

Thinking wanna ask him for dinner on his b'day? but still scare...

scare to face him? or scare both of us 尴尬？

Btw, the babi he made, really delicious ..

Well, knowing both of us should be ok to be friend back, but still scare to find him out to yum cha...

That night, don't know why i dream we two become best friend back and hanging out with friends together ...

Yesterday - Friday night.. don't know why suddenly emo, i though i already wake up and stand up, but i realise that i still can't let go or can't accept we became like this .. ..

But so far after i woke up... i refresh myself again cause nobody like emo' people...

damn two stupid rascal

damn fck today

Gaduh with 2 Malay motor rider at roadside ... damn stupid acting like gangster... oOo ask me remember their face wor.. fuck off
when i inside car, they shout like dog... i park at roadside and come out wait them.. Two of them like not dare to say much...

Notice something.. my both hand keep shaking non-stop sometimes..

hard to control my hand =.=''

donno is my hand too tired or what ....

- 27. Octorber 2011

today mom ask me why i become thin ki =.=''

just 1-2 weeks didnt see me then i thin so much ...

just reply her im sick lo...

then she told me last time i fat so much .... but now suddenly thin so fast =.=''

haha...

today kap lui at badminton court.. a girl wearing a mini skirt .... yum yum ...

haizz... hard disk recovery ... rm2k =.=''

no idea, lucky sis willing to pay 800 for me... the rest i had to settle myself...

and a good news is they wan sponser me rm400 to get ipad2 ^^ ..

next month gonna be busy life ... cause may be want take my sister de work lai do as my part time...

his bday almost near, still confusing should i attend or not?

bcoz scare face him , both of us might 尴尬 .. or scare he still angry me n spoil his mood ..

but other say, where got organizer didnt attend =.='' since he know i will be there, will be okay bah...

right also ... so i give a try, just do part of my job as an organizer can edi...

read a status updates from facebook of my friend today... it said about soulmate..

and suddenly think dao, when we going cameron highland, me n him talk about soulmate..

he said we seem like soulmate n quite close ... that why we always synchro =.=''

this the status my friend post :

A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.

- o0o

sien this family...

tot parents and 2nd sis back from Australia.. have a nice travel ....

manatau , when i reach home, heard mom complain to 4th sister about my 2nd sister...

order steak ar... drink wine ar... this n that ar...

WTF? ur daughter are in good life that why can be so enjoy...

She fight for her education and work.. this is what she should deserved...

Everyday listen dao argue argue and argue .... dulan

damn hate family members quarrel or complain this n that.. why so mind for it? we are one family !!!

终感觉， 只想听到一句。。 原谅你。

- dulan de day

Finally my laptop is back...

But something i lost, it wont be back...

but all of these will save inside my memory ....

i don't know when i might forget it but i still try my best not to forget about it...

Blog is just like my dairy, i write everything inside because it's what i felt from my bottom of my heart.... It's a true feeling and emotion ....

Today my old worker slap me =.=''

It's like joke n slap me.... although its not pain ... but i got a kind of feeling he wanted to do it hardly..

really pissed me off... did he respect me ? im always good with them ... but this is what i reserved...

Went to injection for 2nd times today... kena charge rm200... diu, last time i ask them izziz pay one time enuf... they said yes.. wtf now says every inject must pay rm200 =.=''

Don't know why, i feel like im still the cheerful person...

Although im so depress now, but hanging out with my friends.... i look at them.... also got relationship problem, i become talk more and making fun with them... try to cheer them up..

But after finish the date with them, i felt down.... Do i really need to care to a person that's not care about me?

People keep influence me with this sentence.... But, i don't know why... i still trying to trust and believe in him ... He got his situation ... and i know his pattern like... always dont show out what he felt ... sometime show that he is cold , but inside actually are warm and full of caring ...

So i also trying to stand up myself, cause i realise that so many friends are care me so much and worry about me.... sometime will message / phone me ask how am i recently, doing well and so on ... thanks...

god bless me i can recover my harddisk ... if not im gonna pay rm1.8k to recover my harddisk..

厌食的日子， 只好天天看有关食物的anime, - 中华厨师， 日式面包王。。 看完了， 今天去量体重。。。 67kg 了。 增加了2 kg ^^

- bad luck .... rest in peace...

using friend's macbook pro and writting my blog...
why? my laptop blackout, operation system not found...
after check, its my harddisk problem =.='' cannot initialize... wtf...

the staff at computer shop said, i can make harddisk recovery but need to pay RM1,8k ..
i think im gonna pay for it to recover my staff..
the note from my blog, the photo of me and my bros... are so important for me...
it's my only last memories with him, i dont want to lost it ...
and my external harddisk got no back-up of these...
please la god, dont play me le... it's the last memory for me... dont took it away from me...


why im so bad luck? come to office trying to use office desktop... and that desktop black out and cannot be open again. !!!!!o.O!!

- Wake up call

well.. thing happen so long and i also tired already...
Everything past, just let it be and im lazy and dont want to mention it again...
Once mention back, i get hurt and depress again...

Just start all over again.. Like how we met first time...
It will be more relax for you i think ....
Hope two of us will really put down the past and walk forward to future with new mindset / image
i also no wan to argue which right who fault , its not important now...
just to say im truly deeply sorry for everything.. i willing to take all these blame and hope that can get your forgiveness ..
and thanks for all these month n everything... i did appreciate it and will never forget about the goods.

平常心面对。。。开心的面对。。微笑是最好的方法。。。 大家来笑一个。。

GOGOGO.... tomorrow onward.... fight for my future....

- wtf i met something

look like i shouldnt go out last nite ... in a raining and drive for nothing in sp.... unfortunally .....
i saw a girl with long hair and bloody red dress at road side... WTF I SAW GHOST !!!
it's prove that im very unlucky these day lolz...

Blog is the only way for me to say out my sadness but ..... ...........
Then who would like be my listener?
im human.. i also got feeling...

- Hug daddy .... Love you so much daddy ...

It's has more than 10 years i didn't hug my dad...
This morning, i hug my dad and telling him thanks daddy taking care me so much when im sick...
Sorry to make him worry for me these weeks ...

I realise that, im like my dad...
We love each other and also other family members...
We don't show it out ...
Friends always say i put my friends more than family in my heart...
May be for them, i agree this....
But the important thing i know is , i care both side much ...
I don't know how to show my love to family members ...

But i will always be there, protecting them...
Stand out when they need me ...
I felt touch and cry because dad are so care and worry about me ...
I never felt this care from him for many years ....

Due to mum went to Indonesia weeks ago ....
The life in this house only me and my dad ...
I hanging out with dad to watch - Nasi Lemak 2.0 and having dinner together...
Wondering .... 10 more days ...
Left 10 more days.... Dad and mum going to Australia for 2 weeks ...
I gonna be home alone ... Alone without any people around me...

- The day Rocky aka PuppyZai back UK

29. September 2011 Thursday . Day Light.

Today, Rocky is going back for his studies ...
thanks for him coming back this year ... thanks for his time spending with us for dota / haingout / movie and etc ...

Me and Xin Wei gonna give him a surprise ...
I went to facebook download rocky's photo and Xin Wei choose for it ...
She edit the photo and sentence ... and put in a photo album for him ...
We wan make Rocky feel touch and cry ... haha.. we r so bad ya ^^

After this , seem not enough for me.. So i plan to edit a photo video clip for him ...
I use those photo in the album and create the sentence...
Choosing the song are really make me headache ...
Cause those song , make me emo and feel down ...

why? cause he's leaving very soon and i will be alone in sp ...
im scare of the lonely feeling ...

I cant slp for whole night and i slept around 7am++
Afternoon 4pm+ went to fetch Rocky / Dolphin and Yin Neng ...
we send Rocky to Penang Airport and meet up Xin Wei and Eng Keat and 2 more friends there..

Rocky said he's so glad everyone are going and farewell to him ... All his true friends are there ..
He felt touch and so happy ...
We had our McD dinner there ..
Sure i wont let him pay ... i treat him the last meal in Malaysia ...
When we gave him the photo album and a card that full of our signs ...
He's so surprise ...
Before he leaving, all of us take photo together ....

Don't know why i dont feel sad or lonely when he's leaving...
but i felt im happy cause he's going to fight for his future... finally he's grow up and mature.. .
and i really happy cause his face showed that he's very happy and smile always ..
This like the rocky i knew be4.. always smile ..

After he leaving , i saw a girl name Wan Xin i think ... She cried... I know she's sad but she didnt show out ... That moment, i really feel down le ... Its sad to seperate with someone important to you...

Rocky he didnt cry .. Xin Wei said our mission failed.. but i saw rocky's eyes are red le .. So i think he endure the tears and might cry in the plane...

That night i facebook asked Rocky ... franky to tell me did he cry..
haha , he said he endure the tears and cry in the plane.. like what i thought ...
Nothing i can lie to him and nothing he can lie to me.. our heart are connected....
He's really my best bro ... To the best Rocky ... Will be there for u anytime when u need ...

- Penang trip with ...... on 22.sept 2011

Today .... hanging out with PuppyZai, DolphinZai, Eng Keat and Xin Wei ....
First we went to gurney plaza to have lunch ....
Having our lunch at Sakae Sushi ...
Xin Wei having fun with photo snaping .. She used my camera and play around ...
There's many funny photo she took ...

After lunch, Xin wei and Puppy went to shopping...
Me and Dolphin went to arcade ...

until 5.10pm, Eng Keat reach gurney ...... then we go for our movie - Johnny English Reborn...
Not bad... It's funny ...

After movie, we went to Xuan Xin Buffet Steamboat ...Rocky like my recipe ... So went to make the tepanyaki for him ....
And me n rocky challange who can finish the prawn and crab first.. haha... ... no win no lose... draw game ^^ ...

After dinner, i just realise that i didn't think of what me and Thomas happened.... Just hope that if he's with us eat steamboat will be very nice , cause i promise to bring him here...
A bit surprise that i finally enjoy the moment hanging out with friend and i felt happy... May be because my didi - puppy there bah , i felt secure that im not alone ...

Then we went to Straight Quay .... Xin Wei crazy for Dslr edi .... totally been poison ..... the virus are so strong to atk her ... We took a lot nice photo from there ....

Almost 12am reach sp , drop Xin Wei home and three of us - puppy , me , dolphin go Ntech CC Dota and L4D ... haha.... by the time i reach home already 3am ...

It's very tired for me cause im the driver, but it's my last day have fun with my didi this years ...
He's going back to UK very soon... After he back, i will be alone in SP again ...

If im good luck, me and Thomas okay back, then .... haha ...

- What's my birthday wish ?

There's many people wish me happy birthday and also ask what's my birthday wish ...

My birthday wish i already make that wish ...

I wish my brother - Raymond have a good result in studies and get a better job for his future ... Having a good future together with his girl friend..

I wish my god brother - Rocky can have a good love relationship and everything go smoothly ...

Although may be me n Thomas are stranger now or .... But my last wish is for him...
Wish him can acheive his dream one day ... Can with the one he love one day... and be himself and never lost ...

Raymond told me that is my birthday why my wish are for them?
A good and simple question, because three of them live good , then i will be happy... That's my wish...

- 18 August 2011 Thursday

This morning, Raymond sms me for breakfast because he's not going to work... Tonight im tired to find Thomas supper and ngam ngam he also .. hahaha good ..

Chen Yeah and Shawn dinner with me tonight, Chen Yeah asked me to join him to do online gambling agent .. =.=''

Thomas told me he asked again about genting , mom not allowed and he go and ask dad thought got chance but in the end tiok scold very badly.. he said he see i wanted to go there with them so much so he want accompany me too ... sorry bro...

- 16 August 2011 Tuesday

Arhh... Sei Thomas , silent the phone, i keep on calling him for morning call to wake up him, Lucky his bro Kelvin can wake up by my call.. N Thomas told me thanks for calling ...
Today Cindy asked me in FB wanna outing together with me and Thomas....
Im so sui siao today, my car got problem.. tiao ...

Tonight got badminton game .. Me Rocky and Thomas going ... So happy me and Thomas still can synchro when badminton.. he's my best badminton partner ever ... Too bad he told me he's headache and not going supper with me and keep on saying sorry to me =.='' zha dao.. Bang, i understand la.. so dont put on mind.. i hope he rest well too .. so ask him rest early n not to make us worried him lo.. Because he slept late every night .. around 2am++ and have to woke up in early morning to work until night =.=''

- 17 August 2011 Wednesday

Movie day... Having movie with Thomas , Ken , Hawkzai and Whalezai.. Fortune buddies.. really funny enought ...
Thomas told me he cant go genting le... kena scold jor.. really sorry to him

- 14 August 2011 Sunday

Yeah is Sunday... can meet up with Raymond...
This morning, a surprise for me is Thomas wake up in time and morning call up me =.=''
but for sure, i'm ready because i woke up at 6am plus ..Exicted to meet them for breakfast already ^^
We had our breakfast at Kok Ki, After that we went to UTC taman because Thomas he want go there Soh Leg... We plan for movie today but once we met up with Rocky at his house... All of us decide to go Cyber cafe for dota =.='' arhhh .. dota again...

We dota until 4pm - 5pm ++ and Thomas fetch me home.. After we rest to watch badminton show Lin Dan vs LCW , we dota again =.=''

But me and Thomas argue a little bit because i asked him to shut up in game when he's trying to make me laugh .. But i donno =.='' He keep on singing you can put the blame on me =.='' arhhh hahahaa

- 15 August 2011 Monday
Went to Clinic again, It cost me Rm90 =.=''
Today lunch with dad... a lonely day... everyone are busy and i dota alone...

- 12 August 2011 Friday

whole day im waiting for Rocky.... I keep on ask Wei kaei ( HawkZai ) must come out tonight because wanna give him surprised that Rocky is back...

Finally at night 9pm++ i saw my bro Rocky... I pass him the gift i bought for him and hope he like it.. We hug each other tight ... That night, Me and HawkZai over night at PuppyZai's house ...

For supper, i bring them go try E-Burger that cost RM10 .... I bought one for DragonZai too and he's so kuai lan no want get it for free , if i wanted him to pay then he don't want eat ...

That night was so crazy, we played until 5am and slept until 12pm++

- 13 August 2011 Saturday.

After woke up, we having lunch at Puppy's house.. and Dota again... Then 4pm we go for badminton and night i bring them to try steamfish Hor Fan..
Well, a long period me and Rocky didn't pair up for badminton so we couldn't play so well..
That night, Dota again with Thomas n Hawkzai them =.='' But PuppyZai is too tired to join le... hahaha

- 10 August 2011 Wednesday

Yesh... Today my didi - Rocky aka PuppyZai is coming back to Malaysia..

- 11 August 2011 Thursday
Today i asked Thomas for dinner at Edo Echi.. He said he might going out to Penang at night again for Chef Association meeting .. Around 12pm plus he sms me that he's not going because tired.. But he and his brother - Kelvin went for dinner at Edo Echi..

Im curious and ask him why he's so tired but still want to accompany me for dinner? He said i wanted to eat there for so many weeks already so he want to join me.. I felt so touch and he treat me the dinner also =.=''

Tomorrow PuppyZai is back, i couldn't sleep at all...

- 6 August 2011 Saturday

Early morning went to eat koey teow with Wei Kaei and go home dota and sleep... lol..
Just had a bad news from Thomas and ... he can't dinner with me n Raymond tonight becoz been scolded by mom so he can't go out tonight ..
That night, me and Raymond like a thief.. go steal sand and rock .... and i got my bday present from him.. A Razer mouse Abyssus clear edition ...

Reach home... have a look to the mouse ... and then dota with Thomas them ++

- 7 August 2011 Sunday

I fall asleep around 8am and couldnt wake up to breakfast with Raymond .... What a big mistake i took... I slept whole day until 5pm++ =.=''

Today Thomas went Penang with family so he couldnt join us but he and Rong Jun and me having dinner at Station One for reunion...
And i saw Hang Kok and Pheng Jong there too =.=''

- 4 August 2011 Thursday

Today Wei Kaei suppose come over night at my house but he have to go badminton so tonight will be a lonely night for me again...

- 5th August 2011 Friday

Tonight... Thomas and Wei Kaei come over my house to make music cover .. ( What are words - Chris Medina )
Really happy spending a lot of time with them...
Finish cover at 1am++ and fetch Thomas back home because he been scolded by mom already..
Then me and Wei Kaei dota until morning =.=''

- 3 August Wednesday

As usual life, tonight went movie with Thomas, Jia Lim, Eddy and Alibaba... Captain America...
Not bad, quite funny ... Becoz its look like Eddy.. thin enough....

- 1st August 2011 Monday

I didn't went to work today, i go for check-up... my cough havent recover yet ....
After reach home, i start to write my dairy ...
From last night, i slept around 6am++ if i not mistaken... emo again...
i can feel the pain in my heart...

so on... im still emo-ing today.... I don't know how to face him and i dont feel like want to see him ...
Im scare being backstab again..... Playing me like a toy... Fooling around me ....

I felt im so useless that i couldn't help so much that why im be the one who don't know everything .... I dont even know what their feel...

- 31 July 2011 Sunday

7.30am Thomas morning call me to wake up.... This really surprise me that he woke up before me and called me to wake up =.=''
After fetch him, we heading to Raymond's house ....
Tday breakfast quite special a bit... We had it with Raymond's father together at Butterworth Chou Quan Dim Sum ....
After breakfast, me Thomas and Raymond go look for the seller - Hikari85 for my Razer BlackWidow Ultimate - Dragon Age II edition keyboard... and then we went to Raymond's house...

Testing my new keyboard and relax around his house... really make me feel warm and relax.. like no stress...
We dota together without mouse... ( playing Ai ) hahaha
Finally today, i had photo together with Raymond and Thomas... two brother take photo together...
I knew them for years but didn't take photo together... kind a waste huh... hahaa...

Today Thomas told me be myself... dont always care of what other feel or want them happy and hurt myself... He said he's really treating me as his brother, that why he care of me... worry of my sick ...

Well these words kinda touch and warm my heart ... but .. sorry i .... .... i need some times to walk out my phobia ....

- 30 July 2011 Saturday

Due to my parents went to KL yesterday ... im home alone ...
Plan to have dinner with Thomas but he have dinner with his family tonight and he asked me wanna ta bao for me or not... well.. since later we gonna meet up then i okay with it..

After awhile he phone me asked me , wanna having dinner with his family or not.. His dad asked for that... Since his parents asked me once before, so this time i should pay respect to join them....
well, so far still okay , i didn't feel much stress to had dinner with them, But i can see his father really protect his brother Kelvin ... Kelvin look like a small kid even he's elder than me 3 years old .. .hahahaaa
So sad tonight Kelvin cannot come to visit my house tonight because me and Thomas have to meet Raymond for discussion ... about Sunday plan ...
We went to Bites yum cha ... but , me and Thomas argue ... Raymond was shock and looking to us... then ask us stay peace...

- 27 July 2011 Wednesday

Today went to watch Harry Potter with Kelvin and Thomas...
Btw, when me and Thomas having dinner, suddenly he asked me how am i and Wei En .. Because he jio me for dinner also...

haiz.... when he talk about him, i turned emo little bit, i feel sad to this friend....
why he back stab me somemore still want to acting like my friend?

- 24 July 2011 Sunday

Seriously i can't sleep well because yesterday i called Pheng Jong to drive safe and he though i want to chase Cindy =.=''
Im just caring and worried for their safety because the corner in camera quite sharp and i heard his driving skill not good as well =.='' somemore he's initial D arcade's players...

Sunday, its my day with my brother Raymond ... but i couldn't enjoy at all because im not sure they reach cameron already or not ... Thomas said he will sms me when they reach ...

They said i over worry... am i ? They are my friend... i dont wish so fast losing friend yet... somemore thomas he's my bro ~

- 23 July 2011 Saturday

It's a tiring day for me today but i have to fetch Thomas , Kelvin and Jia Lim to penang to buy Thomas's camera lens...
He wanna use it for Cameron trip tomorrow ....

Today i having a bad temper ... may be im hungry and tired bah....

- 21 July 2011 Thursday

Whole afternoon sitting in office.. so Bored..
Tonight Wei En find me go out for dinner.. I called Shawn, Shawn told me he don't want to see this guy and he hate and scared of this kind of person...

5pm plus... Thomas and Kelvin delievered me " Tai Lok Mee " big size that they bought from Penang...
The taste not bad but too big =.='' i cant finish at all even i shared with my mum...
6.30pm i fetch Kelvin go SPEEDY buy DvD and then i wait Wei En outside his house for dinner after i drop Kelvin back home...

But we just spend 30minits for our dinner at Nasi Ayam Berempah... on the way back, he told me Shawn and Vivian bad thing again.. haiz.. sienz...

10pm++ i went out with Thomas at Pelita and chat for a while... I told him what the conversation between me and wei en and went back home around 12am because im quite tired ....

But in the end i slept at 6.30am =.=''

- 20 July 2011 Wednesday

As usual life, after woke up and went to office...
Arhhh... im big prawn head, forgot to bring my wallet, have to go back home take and kelp Kelvin bank in the money for online dealer..
Then me , Kelvin and Thomas went to Lao You had our lunch....
Quite a busy day for me today because i have to go butterworth and Bm..
Then i tabao Roti canai for Thomas at butterworth because his brother - Kelvin said it's nice...

Today is Kah Geap birthday... we celebrate for him at centre square - Pizza Hut....
Have a good time with them yea ~

- 17 July 2011 Sunday

Yeah... It's sunday again... It's my time to meet my brother Raymond again ^^....
Thomas join us for breakfast too... but after that he have to go Penang for company gathering.
Today just a normal day or unlucky day?
After breakfast, me and Raymond go cut hair... After cut hair, they drop me home and i went out lunch with Wei Kaei and dota ... n he coming to my house after dota, because we having badminton tonight ^^ ...

Arhh my racket patah again... the same person / same model, colour's racket .... i turned emo.. ORZ...
that night, donno why, i felt very emo.... i felt im the one who spoil their friendship... i mess up everything ... and i couldn't help them ...

16 July 2011 Saturday

3pm we going to Penang Bon-Odori Festival together with Thomas, Eddy and Jia Lim....
It was so bored and may be someone emo-ing there ... so everyone keep silent ....
We having our dinner at taiwan Ko Cha Bi near old green house there...

14 July 2011 Wednesday

Dota again with eddy around 4pm++ and waiting Thomas come back from penang...
Because today im going with him to penang to buy camera..
Well.... when me n Thomas on the way to Penang, i told him i skype with my didi - Rocky aka PuppyZai last night from 1am++ to 5am++ ....
I was very happy having talk with my didi...

Arrive Penang, we heading to Queensbay Mall to buy Sazabi Gundam that i wanted to gift Thomas as his birthday present ... But this not surprise anymore because he saw my post comment on facebook... haiz....
Then we go to Tanjung Bunga my friend - Mackid's house to buy Canon 60D and 50mm lens...

Manatau in the end, the lens.. Thomas he paid for me... He told my friend do not sell to me because he wanted buy for me as my birthday present... OMG !! This is really surprise me until i donno what should i show out of my emotion .... ..

Really, this is first time i got surprise for my birthday ...
That night, i was so happy until i couldn't sleep ...
haha... like a kid right ?

Midnight, i was thinking how funny both of us quarrel for a small issue... I said that im dissapointed to him and regret .. He was very angry and hurt deep deep...
I apologize to him that i hurt him so deep ... Im so sorry to my brother...
I swear to myself, not to say anything hurt him again... not even once and believe in our brotherhood...

I can't imagine how hurt are him when i said this to him , but afteri think twice, i can feel the pain.. im so sorry bro.... I hope everything will be fine soon..

- 13 July 2011 Wednesday

Cannot tahan hunger again... total 49 hours didn't eat... haha emo mar... no mood eat ^^
ngam ngam Eddy jio me go dota.. so we went to eat pasembur and then heading to Ntech Cyber Cafe dota...
Around 7pm ++ Thomas message me that he didn't have OT tonight..
So me, Eddy and THomas went to eat steam fish hor fan near Pantai Hospital ...
After dinner... went back to cyber cafe dota again... but lose all the game =.=''z orzzz

- 11 July 2011 Monday

Today i slept until 11am and took my lunch at office around 2.45pm. Thomas delivered me MCD-GCB ..
Tonight, Wei Kai asked me to go his house at night to dota, His parents went out for meeting....
Damn night.... his house suddenly no electric when we playing dota.... ITS BLACK OUT !!

- 10 July 2011 Sunday

Due to last night i slept around 5am.. I can't having my breakfast with my brother - Raymond and his girl friend Melissa..But i still have to wake up around 11am to bring Thomas go Soh his leg... He got injured...
After that, 1pm me and Thomas go find Raymond for lunch... We having lunch together with Tze liang at laguna Merbok there ....
Atleast i see my bro today.... haha... miss him so much ...

- 8 July 2011 Saturday

WoW... today i slept until 2.50pm and rush to second street for lunch that appoint at 3pm with Wei Yang and Tze Liang...
We discussing to have BBQ party after badminton 8pm-11pm tonight..
After lunch we went to Thomas's shop to ask what to buy for BBQ later and me and Tze Liang heading to Bakar Arang Tesco to buy the food..

After badminton, we took bath at Tze Liang's house and start our BBQ party until 3-4am...

- 7 July 2011 Thursday

Today i had argue with mom again.
It's happen three times in this week. She said that i didn't give freedom for her to reading.
But i mention for many times , the books she read is a kind of wash brain..
We quarrel once in the office at afternoon already and night we got this arguement while i'm waiting Thomas to hang out...
It just a short 10 mins times, But it make me damn piss..
What i saids, she reply other thing..
After i received Thomas's call, i went out dinner with him... He accompany me for dinner and endure his tiring and spending his time listen to what i shared..

I was so surprised that he asked me am i argue with mom again after he get into my car..
We went P.A.T.H for dinner and i wanted to have second round because the food there was expensive and few choices... Plus i cant full with one bowl of mee =.=''

And he knew that i want go Nasmir for second round and he also knew i wanted to go my secret base to relax... I really feel touched that atleast there's a people know what am i thinking...

I think i should change my attitude .. to be more calm and free.. Never stress myself and think a lot again.. I really hate myself that always find Thomas to share my trouble ...

- Do u have this kind of best friend?

你发现了吗？

1〉关系越好的，往往是最爱损你的。

2〉和他们说话时，你总是能自动屏蔽那些不爱听的。

3〉你的毛病他们永远比你更清楚。

4〉碰到你以前喜欢过的人，他们总是特别激动地喊你快看快看。

5〉有了小秘密，总是第一个想跟他们分享。

6〉其实最关心你的，永远是那个最爱打击你的。

7〉你们有着或多或少的相同的爱好，哪怕只有一点点。

8〉只有在他们面前的那个，才是最最真实的你。

9〉你们一块腐一块抽，被旁人当神经病也笑得灿烂。

10〉被猜中心事的你，永远都只会“哼”的一声扭过脸去死不承认。

你有这样的朋友吗？

分享让他们知道吧

- Copy Paste

每个女生心里都有一个不是男朋友的男朋友
你们可能相爱过，你们也可能喜欢着彼此，
但是，为了什么原因你们没能在一起？
也许他为了朋友之间的义气，不能追你。
也许为了顾及家人的意见 ，你们没有在一起。
也许为了自己的前程，她没有要你等她。

也许你们相遇太早，
还不懂得珍惜对方。

也许你们相遇太晚，
你们身边已经有了另一个人。

也许你回头太迟，
对方已不再等待。

也许你们彼此在捉摸对方的心，
而迟迟无法跨出界线。

不过即使你们没在一起，
你们还是保持了朋友的关系。

但是你们心底清楚，
对这个人，你比朋友还多了一份关心。

即使不能跟他名正言顺的牵着手逛街，
你们还是可以做无所不谈的朋友。

她有喜欢的人，你口头上会帮他追，
心里却不是很清楚你是不是真的希望她追到。

她遇到困难时，
你会尽你所能的帮她，
不会计较谁又欠了谁。

男女朋友吃醋了，
你会安抚他们说你和她只是朋友，
但你心中会有那么一丝的不确定。
每个人这辈子，
心中都有过这幺一个特别的朋友，
很矛盾的行为。

一开始你不甘心只做朋友的，
但久了，突然发现这样最好。

你宁愿这样关心她，
总好过你们在一起而有天会分手。

你宁愿做她的朋友，
彼此不会吃醋，才可以真的无所不谈。


特别是这样，
你还是知道，
她永远会关心你的。

做不成男女朋友，
当她那个特别的朋友，
有什么不好呢？

你心中的这个特别的朋友...? 是谁呢？

很多的感情，
都因为一厢情愿，
最后连朋友都当不成了

常常觉得惋惜，
可惜一些本来很好的友情

最后却因为对方的一句喜欢你，
如果你没有反应，这一段友情似乎也难以维持下去，
这也难怪有些人会因此不肯踏出这一步。

因为这就像是一场赌注，
表白了之后不是成了男女朋友，
要不就连朋友都当不成了。

有些事不是你能预料的，或许对方不在意，
你们还可以是朋友，但却已经不如从前的......

关于爱情：
不要认为后面还有更好的，因为现在拥有就是最好的。
不要认为我还年轻，可以晚些结婚，爱情是不等年龄的。
不要因为距离太远而放弃，爱情是可以和你一起坐火车的。
不要因为对方不富裕而放弃，只要不是无能的人，勤劳可以让你们致富。
不要因为父母反对而放弃，你会发现这个原因而放弃的爱情，将是你一生的悔恨。
其实，对于爱情，越单纯越幸福！一生只谈一次恋爱是最好的。经历的太多了，会麻木，分离多了，会习惯，换恋人多了，会比较，到最后你会不再相信爱情，你会自暴自弃，你会毫无生气，你会行尸走肉，你会与一个你不爱的人结婚，就这样过一辈子···

所以牵好的手就不要轻易放开，说过的话就不要轻易收回，承诺过的人就不要轻易忘记···

有些人，有些事，既然发生了。
就注定是你一生的回忆···

- 疯

ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
我快要烦到疯了 ！！！！！！！
为什么要这样对我。。。。。。。

- Sorry for everything i have done

4.22am now... my mind keep thinking what should i do or how to apologize for them..
i mess up everything and cause them in bad situation ....
seriously i felt so guilty for it and i don't know what should i do to re-pay for it..
may be i could just dissapear myself in front of them and start my life?
sound selfish or not responsible right? but what can i do?

im so confuse now, can anyone teach me?
i hurt their feeling, i hurt their relationship...
looking the way they suffer... ( i ter-typed "shuffle" =.='' ) i felt so embarrassing and hate myself..
why i done something like this to hurt them? why i dont just ignore it but give a hand for the issue?
actually what are important for me now? work? future? frd? help? ignore? health?
what i should put on no1 first?

im lost and i don't know how to manage my life...
im looking for a perfect way to settle everything but .....
i can't make it....
i can't find the perfect way to solve all this thing...
people said nothing can be perfect...
but i believe we can make thing perfect, bcoz i did before with 30 members together....

why i suffer myself to care for the business that's totally non of my business?
seem like i need to calm down myself...
but i when i face the problem they facing, i felt guilty and i wish i could solve this problem...
i felt my phobia was back... suddenly i felt so scared the same thing will happened again...
i felt so lonely.... the feeling of loneliness making my heart so hurt and i hope i could cry it out loud.....

i hate myself why im eventful , why i always looking for perfect , why i always feel guilty and keep on say sorry ?
i hope i can control myself , my mind, my emotion ...
i need someone to carry on me. . . to cheer me up ....
someone that really understand what im facing now and what i feel ...

but seem no one can help me...
im the lonely one and stand up myself...
what i can say is.. sorry... it's all my fault ... very very sorry...
you could put the blame on me ( akon teach me this )
i do not deserve to be your ..... friend.

- RIP * Rest In Peace

一大早， 听到了一个让我心酸的事。。
二姑她在今早去世了。。
她需去槟城洗肾， 可是到了那，不醒人事了。。就这样，走了。。
很内疚的， 我明明有机会见她可是我就是不要去。。
昨晚，爸爸叫我和他去跟二姑吃晚饭。。
任性的我不想去。。 没想到我再也没机会看到她了。。。
虽然，我和她也没有很多的回忆， 可是她是我爸爸的妹妹，也就是一家人。。

二姑的死。。。 让我想起了我的婆婆。。
她和婆婆也是一样， 因肾病而死亡。。。
母女同命相连。。。
也是一样的， 婆婆去世的那个晚上， 说想和我吃晚餐。。。
还是小孩的我就答应了老爸找一天去看婆婆。。
没想到， 那晚婆婆就去世了。。

我还记得， 那晚我哭得很厉害。。
整个枕头都湿了。 。。

想想。 不知道我及时会离开呢？
离开的时候， 我会不会是个对社会有用的人呢？
还是社会的垃圾？
想起小时候有自杀过。。 哈哈。。
长大了，也有想自杀的念头。。 可是就是没有勇气。。

真的希望每个人可以好好的照顾身体。。。
喝多水， 早点睡。。 多运动， 少吃煎， 炒，辣的食物。。。

- Mixed with happy and bad

quite long didnt come blog jor...
almost 1 week....
recently happen many thing around me ....
i face happy thing and also bad thing ......

i'm glad that few days ago, i got 30minits talk to my brother puppyzai...
even i know phone to UK are quite expensive, but atleast we still keep in touch...
we still care for each other even we got long time didnt chat....
he showed that he's worried about my health... and share his life there .....

hm.... found out someone is crying for me ....
haha, donno why, everytime she cry, i feel want to laugh...
such a pity and cute face.... ^.^

finish happy thing.... now is bad thing...
really scare the thing i worried is happen...
i used to avoid and ignore it but its come to me always ....
this stupid thing really confusing me...
its made me totally lost my direction to do or not to do.....

i think.. almost 1 week i didnt play dota edi....
quite many friends always invite me to join their game ...
but really feel sorry to them, recently really busy ....

arhh... i found out im totally addicted to dslr...
aiming for canon 60d ....
i just bought a Black Bird,Fly camera on tuesday ....
it's not limited edition but atleast i got the same model...
Limited edition is pink colour and it's kamen rider decade series ....
so sad didnt get edition one... but still happy to hv the same model....

- 冷

突然， 心中有种心灰与冷的感觉。。
不明白为什么自己不会接受。。
明明就是很平常的事，为什么就是接受不到呢？
这样多数是应该的吧。。
讨厌这样的我，
讨厌肚子饿的我， 脾气那么的不好。。

近几天， 因生病而什么食物也不能吃， 搞到一直胃痛。。
有时候， 真的不明白我这样做到底是为了什么。。
夜了， 是时候要我放下一切，然后好好的过回我以前的生活。。
抛开一切的烦恼和无聊的责任。。。

好好的想一想， 我好像改变了很多，到底哪个才是我自己？
我自己到底又是怎么样的人呢？
真的好希望有人会告诉我， 我到底是这样的人。。
不管是好，还是坏， 我就是想知道。。。

他妈的老子生病， 什么也不能吃。。。 肚子饿也找不到适合我吃的食物。。
算了， 还是在家乖乖的睡觉。。
身体这样多病， 有时真的好像要放弃了我自己，了断了这个生命。。
虽然很自私，可是。。。。
孝。。 不敢想象父母的悲哀。。

累了，真的累了。。 不明白为什么把我的时间和精神白白的浪费在无谓的事上。。
累了， 是时候放手了。。 可能放手后， 才知道是否是值得我做的。。
累了，不是样样事看起来我不在乎， 只是，不想让人知道我很在乎。。

- Health

Health....

Just realise that im unhealthy...
Having cough for 1 month and havent recover yet...
After check up with a chinese doctor, she said that my body really unhealthy..
If i dont really take care of it, before i 30 years old, might died or +++

Every single organs in my body are no good and im 23 years old now but i having 70 years old body.
Now days, my back are very pain... I have no idea for it...
Seriously im so worried and down for my health...
I'm really sad that i having this kind of body... this kind of health....
Why i now only realise that healthy are so important and regret that i dont really take care for it.

I felt like im so useless, everything i did wrong, everything i don't know, i cant help people when they need help...
I donno everything that happened now in the world or social...
I can't do well for my dad's business ...
I can't take care of my parents / my family ....
and now i got a serious bad bad health ...

Somehow, what am i born to the world ? I'm just a rubbish in this world that did nothing to the world...
I cant bring any advantage for the world ...

These few night, i keep suffer for one thing, i can't take decision on it..
I don't know what should i do... i got phobia for it...
My left hand ask me do it but my right hand ask me ignore and stop it now..
If i do it, i might get hurt if anything happen... Its risky for me..
If i don't do it, i can't pass through my heart ... because im the only one can help ...
Should i or Shouldn't i ?
May be i think too much? But atleast avoid better than no.. ? It's that correct?

Really made me can't sleep well in the night....

- 我等你。。

最感动的一句话不是什么甜言密语，不是我爱你，
而是我等你。

一句我等你， 不知真的需要多少的勇气。
我认为， 我等你这三个字比我爱你浪漫很多。
因为我认为不是每个人都会去等一个可能得不到的东西。
可是我的兄弟他说他会做到， 不顾一切的等。
抱有希望的等。。 没希望也等。。 等待奇迹的一天。等待她。。
身为他的兄弟我， 不知如何是好， 只能在他的身边支持和安慰。。

我等你。。。
包含了很多的无奈，心酸， 苦涩，安慰，祝福，承诺，等。。。
他不管爱得到还是爱不到，默默地等。等待那天的到来。。
我等你， 真的需要很大的勇气和责任才说的。。
他明明就不是一个这样的人， 可是为了她， 他要付起这个责任。。
为了她， 愿意的付出， 无条件的付出和祝福。。
不管会不会得到她还是会的等。。。
不论怎样.我等你这个承诺.远比我爱你更动听。。

每次听朋友说有几爱几爱他们的女朋友/男朋友。。
每天说我爱你。。
说我爱你好像喝水这样。。
把我爱你说的没价值。。
所以我很少说我爱你给我的女友。。
我认为我爱你不是要说的， 而是要表现出来。。
真的很佩服他会等，我明白等待的感受，　
因为我也曾经等待过十年。。
等待一个人真的很难，　可是我等你是一个承诺。

想想看，现在还会有人会这样等吗？有。。 很少。。
有人会愿意那样卑微的等待，
不计较任何的回报的等待吗？
也有很少人会说“我等你” ！！　

往往很多人都会因为我爱你而感动， 然后忘记了。。。
忘了那个说。。。。 我等你的人。
前者的爱有激情但肤浅。。。 然而，
后者的爱单纯又执着。。
很多年轻人就是喜欢听我爱你，
为了一句我爱你，爱的死去活来。
吵来吵去。。 受了伤也不投降。。
当被伤透彻了才知道一切都因为一句。。。。。
“我爱你”
那时，你可能更愿意的听到“我等你”。。


如果你身边有一个这样的人。。
愿意毫不计较的为你付出。。
默默的等你， 照顾你， 祝福你， 为你开心。。
那么，请你一定要好好珍惜这个人，
因为他会是一个一直陪伴着你走下去的那个人，
他不管你是不是他的。。 他就是不会在半途中将你丢弃。。
因为他会付起他所说的“我等你” 这句话。。
他也懂得珍惜和你在一起的时间。。
默默地安慰你， 关心你， 帮助你， 照顾你。。

有的人一生都不会有这种机遇，
不是每个人会那么幸运的等到一个愿意等她的人。。
你也可以说他傻，但是一切都是为你傻。。。
和你永远在一起才是他真正的幸福。。
也不是每个人会愿意的或有机会的去等待一个人。。
他。。 锦隆就是相信。。。相信一切。。 。
相信为了爱你， 所以选择等你。。 我等你 ！！


祝锦隆的等待都能有好的结果。

送你一首歌。。　
：等
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-lhKI5IVjs
( PS : F**K BLOGGER... CANNOT UPLOAD MY VIDEO HERE !!! ) ( will edit soon )

- Trust

Seriously i hate gay so much.. I accept gay as my friends before because i got a close friend that he's gay. But now i can be what i want. I really hate gay, so that i hate ppl saying im gay or ah gua. =.='' Because im really not and i dont want people misunderstanding me. Kinda shame to become gay ! !!

Got friend asked me why dont i go get a new girl friend now... Simple question but i only reply i got no mood to in love now, and if i in love now, might very sorry to someone and also myself. All i need to do now is work and learn my dad's business. This is most important thing now.

Having cough for 3 weeks already, many food i can't eat.... I miss laksa, hokkien mee, pasta, curry mee, satay, pizza, nasi redang, chicken rice, chicken chop, satay, roti canai and +++
But because im sicked, i realize many people are care to me so much, advice me this doctor, eat this eat that, drink hot drink only and ++.. Well it's a bit like controlling me but my heart feel so warm because i can't believe there's so many friends are so care about me. To not dissapointed them, i have to recover faster and show them im recovered so that they won't worried about me anymore.

Having deal with my brother Thomas that i won't smoke anymore and he must less eat those oily/ fried/ and fatty foods that harm to his health. He really showed me that his promise to me. I also must stand up myself not to smoke else i will very very sorry to him.

Today i learn something good. I wake myself up to understand why close friend sometime won't care about each other feeling... It's because we too close, we believe in other.. the trust we gain are strong so that sometime we might didnt care about their feeling and came out with little bit misunderstand and sorry. Because too close, and we had the habits so when changed, we might little bit angry... Because human being , we wanted more.. So remember, always give forgivness and peace, It will help ur friendship stand longer.

Trust is like a paper, once it's crumpled, it can't be PERFECT again. So i want to walk out from my phobia/ my past to gain back my trust to my best friends/brothers.... It might need some times or it might confuse me to lost my way sometimes, but im sure they will forgive me if im done something hurt them to them.. To know and being close to a friends might need year or more, but offend a friends might just need a few second, so think deep and care about their feeling before speak..

- Do nothing

Seriously i feel dissapointed to one of my friend... Don't know how to start here but what have he done is really hurt me. He just act childish and having "大少爷" pattern.
In the end we end up our 13 years friendship. Well, im just giving advice to him and he don't want to accept it then deny me.

Why i always having friendship problem every years? It's my own self problem or i'm just bad luck to knew this kind of friend? nah, it's already happened, im not blaming to other and just accept the destiny bah... As long as i know i still got a lot of friends around me... People said 人生有一知己，　死以无憾。　and i got three.... I must be glad for it...

But sometimes really scared to disturb them to tell them what problem im having now. I know they couldn't help me and just be my listener but they got their own life too.. Sometime i wish i can keep in my heart and solve myself ...

Dumpling ( bak chang ) i miss my grandma's hand made bak chang... i miss the taste for many years ago. But this year, i got it back.... Really thanks to my brother Thomas that giving me his house made bak chang... I feel my grandma taste... grandma i hope you rest in peace... i miss you and i love you ~

- 阴阳

Saturday 4.6.2011

去了 Village Mall 和朋友看戏， 在电梯门口看到了一位老朋友。 可是他给我的第一个脸是不爽的样子然后来了一个很假的笑。 不懂为什么， 开始情绪化了， 可能刚睡醒吧。。

在看戏时， 想到不知道我的死党会不会 emo 呢， 哪知看完戏时，他告诉我说有点emo。 哈哈。。
当然， 我在那部戏里学如何忘记过去， 心静，抛开所有的阴影。

阴阳 ( Ying Yang )




阴阳 ( Ying Yang ) .. 这个戏教了我阴阳， 何谓阴阳？ 我是这样认为的， 想太极一样， 以软克刚。 要软就要静。 黑白， 黑中带有白， 百中带有黑。 然而显出我们人生中的某某事， 一片纯黑/白的人， 也有他的漆黑或光明的一点。 点点滴滴中我们要学会忍， 孝， 静，良 。 只要我们在漆黑中， 注重这那个白点， 我们会发现更多的好事。


如今， 我还要学习如何看开， 因为实在太多阴影在我身活了。 有冲动想要离开我的家一段时间， 但是我要照顾家里， 我也放不下身边的朋友。
希望可以快点学会看开， 真的不想再睡觉中也被吓醒。 或伤心到醒。入眠难， 醒得快, 也不会情绪化。

- Friday 3.6.2011

Friday 3.6.2011
A simple trip to Penang with Thomas, Eddy and Jialim..
Went to "International Chocolate Fair" , its suck, we have been cheated...
There's not more than 5 stalls that selling chocolate and its local chocolate=.=''
Most of it = *Bak Gua* rofl .....

Just staying there short a while then we went to "Battle of The Chef ( BOTC ) " ..
Seriously it's so many ppl and the food are awesome..
But i feel sad to my brother... He knew many professional chef, he go the skills, and he got the talents on cook/decorate food/taste/style... I think he must be very emo-ing right there because he can't attend the competition and also have to give up his dream to continue his family business...
Very sorry to him, may be two years later he could join this competition... Even he cant achieve his dream as a chef anymore but at least the competition will bring him enjoy and learn...

- 11 years friend..

11 years friend..

I'm so glad that we know each other for 11 years.. From friend to become best friend and then became just a normal friend again.

Everyone is asking me take notice to this friend and careful. Some of my friend are anti and ban him because he always done something to hurt me and his personality problem.

He like to turn a big round to ask something from people to know something he wanna know, and he like to make a story in front of people so that could bring the others reputation down. Why he always do this kind of thing? Because of jealous ? Some of my friends said that he might be a gay too LOL...

Don't know why, everytime i listen to this song, i think of this friend.... He the one spoil our friendship. Why can't he appreciate it ?